by Walter Bucket on 21/03/15 at 6:02 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. According to a newly discovered lost diary by one Doctor Watson, Sherlock Holmes had a game foot.
2. Actors proposal before congress to be allowed to do a Kennedy Assassination Re-Enactment every year in Dallas turned down for tenth time (2013).
3. During January, 2015 speech, President Obama warned that there was a “credible threat” that his presidency, V.P. Biden and both houses of congress will be known as the worst ever.
4. National Gay & Lesbian lawsuit over two gay bar burnings dropped in December, 2014. “We did all we could do”, stated local fire chief. “But they just kept flaming up!”
5. One of Houdini’s favorite tricks was going to a bar at night and show those buying him rounds how to turn beer into liquid gold within thirty minutes.
6. Within a few days of your death, all that food you ate, full of parasites and microbes, will be eating off of you.
7. The longest term between twins being born was over one year apart. Psychologists say that the late arrival will probably lead to the child having problems about things, like being afraid of being in the dark, hearing strange gurgling sounds & his brother’s crying from who-knows-where, for the rest of his life.
8. First “Plumbers Incident” since Richard Nixon as President Obama badly undercuts golf tee shot and drives ball straight into his other two. “When he left here on a stretcher his ‘plumbing’ looked bad. I was at the number two hole when I heard the scream…..I blame George Bush.”
9. In 2013, Korean Leader Kim Jong-un asked for volunteers from prison to help test biological weapons or be skinned alive. Any one who survived the weapons could go back home but far away from Pyongyang.
10. Should wives have a false pregnancy, leading doctors now say that she should be kept on placebos for at least three months.
11. Critics say Clint Eastwood’s new Spaghetti Western will have more meaning, depth and plots in layers. In fact, it is already being called his first “Lagna Western”.
12. TRUE: New York City’s Naked cowboy spent the night in the hospital last July (2014). Recovering, he told reporters that he has learned not to get anywhere near another vehicle belonging to “Grandma’s Tours”.
13. T/F: In 2012, it has been stated that Al Bore showed up for a college speech loaded and crying, “I coulda been President, I coulda been somebody!” Students applauded lightly and crept out before he got to the Global Warming and yelling at “Stella!”.
14. To warm up their fingers before attempting to paint or begin a nude sculpture, most French artists required that the young nude sat on their hands for ten minutes.
15. TRUE: Police finally nabbed the man known as “Mr. Identify Theft” this past December around Christmas (2014). “This guy was so good he stole one man’s identity card, driver’s license, computer data, new suit while he nodded off at an airport, his wife and two out of his three children.”