by E. Williams on 24/03/15 at 6:49 am
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)
The balloons, streamers, and cake are all ready at the White House as little Obamacare celebrates his first birthday today. Unfortunately, due to the way the youngster has behaved the last five years, only a few close family members attended the party. Nobody was more upset at the dismal turnout than Obamacare’s father.
“I don’t understand it.” President Obama remarked, “I sent out millions of invitations and nobody RSVP’d. I know many of them weren’t happy that we went ahead with Obamacare’s birth five years ago, but I thought they would have grown to love him by now. Do they not understand what’s best for them?”
Obamacare’s mother, Nancy Pelosi, was disappointed too. “Those people are just stupid. So what if Obamacare was born in secrecy without any of the details of his birth known at the time, he’s here now and people better learn to love him because, like it or not, they’re stuck with him. Look at little Obamacare over there though, just sitting in the corner, crying. It breaks my tiny heart.”
“I don’t know babe,” Obama said to Nancy. “We just got word today that Ted Cruz is going to run for President in 2016. Little Obamacare may not live to see his 8th birthday.” “Noooooooo!” shrieked Nancy.
“You all told me I would be loved by now!” little Obamacare shouted. “You tell me that every year! You’re just a bunch of liars! Even crazy uncle Harry Reid sitting over there with his one eye and bad depth perception! Aunt Sebelius didn’t even show up this year! And by the way, in what universe is it ever a good idea to force Americans to buy something they don’t want?”
“I hate you all! I wish you had aborted me like you try to do to so many other kids! Not only did nobody come to my party, but now Mr. Cruz is gunning for me. I’m dead meat. Thanks a lot.”
As Obamacare stomped off to his room, he muttered, “God? Why did you have to curse me with such idiots for parents?!”