by Walter Bucket on 25/03/15 at 6:19 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. TRUE: The key to making real southern red-eyed gravy for your breakfast of ham and eggs is the staying awake all night the night before. Your eyes should be just about the right color of red.
2. Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bladder Ginsburg wears adult diapers. That’s why she has that silly frown on her face most of the time.
3. During the Bronze Age, silver and gold were pretty much for the lower classes.
4. The very first football helmets were made out of wood.
5. In several states in the South and a few in New England, have a “Haint Hunting Season”
6. FALSE: During a BBC interview of a small forest ranger in Canada, an eagle swooped down and flew off with the little guy, screaming his head off…literally. This is false. If you go back and can bring that episode up on YouTube, you can clearly see that it was actually a big Hawk.
7. Streaking Flashmobs combine the two trends as a whole nudist colony will show up at an event like the one in Pensacola in September, 2014, and run flopping right through the Holiday Inn lobby.
8. Thomas Merton, famous writer and a monk at the Abbey at Gethsemane, learned to hang by his tail from a tree while meditating.
9. According to a Coroner in New Jersey, an autopsy of most gangsters shows that three out of four had loaded dice in their stomachs.
10. One of the first signs that your marriage is in trouble is all the yawning and constant looking at your watches during sex!
11. Black cars make the best canvases for a bird to practice his artistic berry poop talent upon.
12. TRUE: In war time, the Seal of the United States is changed to that of a Shark.
13. The Siamese twins, Eng and Chang had further problems in bed with their wives because Eng on the right was left-handed. Although living to a normal age and having over 20 children, their death was attributed to a friend loaning them a copy of the Kama Sutra.
14. Although several cars now have readouts that say, “Time For A Tune-Up”, some now add “And Why Not Take A Pee While You’re There in the Waiting Room?”
15. Before meeting with Churchill and Roosevelt, Joseph Stalin often watched several episodes of the Three Stooges. That was why they had to retake so many photographs, as Stalin would suddenly burst out with laughter and get down and beat the floor with his fist.