by Walter Bucket on 27/03/15 at 5:43 am
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. Doomsday Clock now five minutes past midnight. Nothing! Just like that Y2K, Global Warming and all those Death Comets.
2. The fewest sales of any Jewish book ever recorded, sold only 22 copies, mostly to the family: “Rabbi Shaker’s Big Tips on Botched Circumcisions!”.
3. Not many women named Prudence are ‘Hot to Trot”.
4. TRUE: Scientists have found a planet 60 million light-years away with rings 500 times that of Saturn and 39 of them are the colors of me Lucky Charms.
5. The oldest Aldabra Giant Tortoise on record lived to be 255 years old, nearly 100 of those on his back.
6. On August 10th, 1788, Benjamin Franklin spent the whole day not inventing something or other. Wonder what he was up to?
7. Holy men in ancient Egypt often slept on a bed of sharp pieces of rocks and brick. They grew beards ten feet long and daily cursed their enemies, “May a thousand sand storms visit your camels.”
8. More and more vampires flaming up at sunrise after biting the neck of someone staggering their way home from the bar the night before.
9. In 2014, a Japanese fisherman caught a 25-pound seahorse near Fukushima.
10. Warning on computers: Some Welsh names will cause your spell-checker to explode.
11. New study shows that when dieting, a woman’s ass and a man’s belly is the last thing that loses weight. As you can observe, many are still trying and at that freak stage in between.
12. Your brain is more active while you sleep than when you are watching television programs. In fact, the same goes for the rest of your body, as you toss and turn.
13. Florida nudist colony looking for a new manager as the present one in hospital after closing desk drawer on balls for the second time in a week.
14. Vice President’s latest blunder (#108 if you’re keeping score) was having his cellphone ringtone “Surfin’ Bird” go off at funeral of Navy Commander.
15. A 25-year study by a Special House Committee say that they now have enough evidence to arrest woman in DC for running house of prostitution.