Police Crack Easter Bunny Murder

by on 28/03/15 at 6:02 am

The suspect was found in a doem room on campus and still had bunny gore all over her face.

The suspect was found in a dorm room on campus and still had bunny gore all over her face.

Spokane, WA – (satireworld.com)

Sarah Eostre was a normal teenage girl of 17 from outward appearances. Her room at home had scores of frilly dolls, the usual posters on the wall, piles of school books, and an open and marked copy of ‘Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse’ a novel by Robert Rankin. Also in the room was dark secret kept hidden away in the back of a closet.

Early last week, hundreds of chocolate Easter Bunnies were lined up at the Walgreen’s pharmacy on Elm Street. Row upon row of highly crafted Leporidae stared silently out on the deserted dimly lit isles.
But, just a few short days ago it was the bucolic scene changed to one of a gruesome slaughter, and gluttony. Scattered about the store wererandom strips of thin aluminum foil in gay Easter colors. Torn cellophane boxes were tossed in a haphazard array across the entire isle, testimony to the hast and viciousness which the murderer acted out alone in the darkened store.

Ironically on Easter, police arrested Sarah after finding her DNA at the scene, and evidence in her closet. The closet yielded twelve half-eaten Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Each had their asses eaten off and a lipstick smile painted on their faces suggesting a ritualistic motive.

When arrested, Sarah still had chocolate from her last encounter all over her face. She was removed to the Hershey Institute for the Criminally Insane for observation.

One Response to “Police Crack Easter Bunny Murder”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Mar 28th, 2015

    Nice one Jon.

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