by Walter Bucket on 12/04/15 at 5:53 pm
(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts
1. After a tiger attack on Roy Horn of “Siegfried and Roy” a few years ago, the curtains were immediately closed and a music segment sent in to the audience. Unfortunately, the automated music began playing, “I Tat I Taw A Puddy Tat” by Tweety Bird.
2. True: 2014: Owl attacks continue in Washington DC attributed to Mousey White House Leaders, Ratty Bought Off Media and a Rabbit-like Congress.
3. Before George Washington became President, the last president in the land of America was 300 years earlier, called Hosteen Wahoo, leader of the Long Penis People!
4. The Eiffel Tower differs in height between summer and winter by six inches taller in summer. Most credit the nude sunbather working on top as male takes break for lunch.
5. Intelligent Americans have been counterfeiting credit cards, not to use but to allow those stealing them to download fake cards. Then, when they turn the fake card numbers into their crime bosses, they are taken care of by the big guys.
6. A baby hippopotamus is called a Potahippamous.
7. Some Las Vegas casinos switch the hotel room numbers around when they see gamblers drunk after midnight. When they can’t find their room, they go back to lose more money.
8. Forgetful squirrels are the number one reason that the United states keeps plenty of oak trees around.
9. John Lindsey suffered many injuries when a Wells Fargo Truck that he was the guard in the back, ran over a horse and a big stack of coins fell on him. After three days his family was called to come to the hospital as John had taken a sudden change for the worse.
10. The closest thing to English is what they speak in eastern Kentucky, Tennessee and Alabama, which stretches it’s words to twice their length.
11. True: Not one astronaut or cosmonaut has ever reached the moon. Those are shot on stage. Reliable aliens say that the only body that is on the moon is that of Alice Kramden!
12. More people die from hitting the ground than from flying in an airplane.
13. To the last day of it’s life, a duckbill platypus doesn’t actually know what it is.
14. Using a lap computer in the bathroom of an airport can make you lose track of time. Then you realize how your plane is getting ready to take off and leave the bathroom stall running before logging off. (Note: They will make you go clean up and catch the next plane.)
15. True: In a recent study (2013), we Americans eat over 50,000 pounds of food in a lifetime. When you think about it, it’s a wonder that we’re not fat.