(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #168

by on 20/04/15 at 6:35 am

Satireworld's mailroom girl, Brandy Egars, sure knows how to set the pace at SW's annual beach party. Brandy says there's no truth to the office rumor that she got the job because she's Evil Williams girlfriend.

Satireworld’s mailroom girl, Brandy Egars, sure knows how to set the pace at SW’s annual beach party. Brandy says there’s no truth to the office rumor that she got the job because she’s writer Evil Williams girlfriend.

(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts

1. The earliest known human culture in North America is that of the Clovis people thought to have lived somewhere between 500,000 and 1500 years ago.

2. It takes over 3000 cows to make up enough skin to supply the National Football League enough pigskins to last an entire season!

3. Wines: Shiraz Shootin’, Mogan David Letterman and Bigfoot’s Organic Grape Squirts all cheaper than “Two Buck Chuck” that won taste championship 5 years ago.

4. The first monster and/or freak to hit the big screen movie scene was Ma Kettle, taking her monthly bath in a horse trough. It was only shown to adults. Still several ran to the bathroom.

5. True: Joseph McCarthy charged that Owen Lattimore and Francis the Talking Mule were Soviet spies, on this day in 1950.

6. Ned Beatty from Deliverance and Shirley MacLaine are twins.

7. Ray Kroc bought out McDonalds Restaurants from Ronald McDonald and his brother, Donald McRonald in 1961 and turned it into the most profitable restaurant chain in the world.

8. In 2010, an art thief was caught in New york after hanging the painting on her refrigerator door and claiming that her grandson had painted it at school.

9. True: December 2014: West Virginia Man missing for over a year found dead sitting in front of television. “Isn’t that the way it goes?”, says police officer. “It’s always the last place you look. All that digging and diving and beating up suspects for nothing.”

10. At one time, Tennis was called…..I can’t place it here but over 15 other names, 14 by John McEnroe.

11. Women shopping all day has proven to be a great therapy. The men get the same result from hunting during deer/turkey season

11. A Blow-up of a snapshot of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, may lead to a change of name from Nessie to Nester.

12. The Mayor of Farmington, Missouri says that 2015 may be the last “Ye Olde Race Riot Days” unless more volunteers bring in enough merchandise to rebuild and restore enough businesses for the rioters to fool with.

13. True: New cookbook to be released later in 2015, “1001 Ways to Feed Your Veteran ‘Shit on A Shingle”, profits will be sent to VA Hospitals around the nation.

14. Ceremony in England on July 10th to bury the late Monkees singer will be held at sea as his remains will be sealed in Davy Jones Locker.

15. The song, “Hail To The Chief” comes from an old Native American tribute to Chief Sitting Bull, sung while doing a rain dance!

-Walter Bucket



9 Responses to “(satireworld.com) Walter Bucket Presents True Facts……..according to Nopes! #168”

  1. Captain america

    Apr 20th, 2015

    No surprise ….Brandy was Evil’s 9th grade Creative Spoof Wrier teach
    Before they got busted in his gym locker making things up as they go!

  2. E. Williams

    Apr 26th, 2015

    Brandy got the job simply based on the assets she brought to the office everyday. And she does leave a lovely impression on every beach she visits.

    God bless you Walter. Thank you for sharing your wonderful writing, wit and talent with us here.

    • Bargis

      Apr 26th, 2015

      Walter was a true gentleman and served his country honorably and always had a kind word for those around him. His passing was too soon but it seems the good guys get yanked off this planet first.

  3. captain america

    Apr 26th, 2015

    Walter had a knack for making everyone smile…a gentleman and
    a true wordsmith….and an insatiable aptitude for writing matched only by his fertile mind!!

    I looked up this morning and saw a laughing cloud!

    We’ll miss you Walter, but we’lll be together again in the hereafter
    ….just keep laughing so we can find you!

    Amen Brother!

  4. Philbert of Macadamia

    Apr 26th, 2015

    We will all miss Walter’s humor. But he will kept everybody laughing up there, peering down at the antics of us mortals.

  5. Connie

    Jul 11th, 2015

    Hi everyone – I am Jerry’s (Walter’s) wife and have just now stopped by to take a look at his last writings on this site. I know none of you, and all of you as he often mentioned Captain America, Philbert, Bargis and so many others here. Writing these spoofs was indeed a joy in his life. Thank you for your kind words and for being his comrades in arms on these adventures!

    Connie

    • Bargis

      Jul 12th, 2015

      Thank you Connie, we all miss Jerry very, very much. It still amazes me how his regular one-liners bordered on pure genius and made me laugh when I edited. Most times I scrambled to find just the right photo to go with the posting. He made it difficult because he had so many wonderful original one-liners with a great point of view that anyone could understand. Take care…you and Jerry will always be in our thoughts. Bargis

  6. captainAmerica

    Jul 12th, 2015

    Dear Connie:

    Jerry was one of a kind and we all miss him, his wit, his dedication and his obvious joy in writing his humorous pieces. We never got to meet, but I’m sure we felt we knew him over the years as he entertained us as “Bureau” on the Spoof and here at Satire World..

    I’m going to send Bargis a tribute I wrote in 2009 on the Spoof when he took a leave of absence when his back pains caused him to take a break,

    I admired Jerry because he always was upbeat and uplifting even as he was attacked on The Spoof for being popular and prolific. Jerry never went out of his way to respond to snarks and trolls who had no reason to take issue with his work.

    Needless to say we wee all shocked to hear of his passing and I personally think of him fondly very often.

    His uplifting attitude and humor has left us all better persons who smile when we reread his contributions.

    Best wishes and warm thoughts to you Connie in these moments of reflection on a wonderful man.

    Captain America (aka Morse)

  7. captainAmerica

    Jul 12th, 2015

    PS: pardon the typos….seems something got in my eyes.

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