by E. Williams on 24/04/15 at 6:15 am
NEW YORK CITY – (satireworld.com)
Less than a week after most everyday Americans were fretting over filing and/or paying their taxes on time, four hosts on the little-watched news channel MSNBC were revealed to be tax delinquents. It appears the hosts feel comfortable skipping paying their taxes, knowing the Obama Justice Department will never prosecute them thanks to their 24-hour towing of the company line. One writer perfectly pegged what should be the channel’s new tag line: “Lien Forward.”
Everyone knows Al Sharpton has been a tax cheat for years, but now you can add lesser-known Melissa Harris-Perry, Touré, and Joy Reid to the list of those who feel that paying their ‘fair share’ is for chumps. Harris-Perry has cited a series of “personal crises” as the reason she and her husband owe tens of thousands in back taxes.
Fortunately for Melissa, Form 32L has a box you can check off if you had any personal crises in the past year, and giving you an extra six months to pay. The IRS has a long history of being understanding and working with people who owe back taxes in an amicable way by working out a payment schedule that doesn’t cramp the taxpayers lifestyle.
Harris-Perry is also waiting to hear from the IRS whether her tampon earrings can be deducted as business expenses, and Touré claims his returns for the last few years are incomplete because he is still waiting to hear if there is a tax deduction for being a douchebag year-round. Joy Reid, well, who cares about Joy Reid anyway? In addition, all four have claimed on their tax returns that they consider their delinquent taxes to be a form of reparations for slavery.
The news channel did announce today they had received more than 60 million job applications this week from Americans who want to work for the station without having to pay taxes, many offering to intern in the hopes that it might someday lead to a permanent position.
UPDATE: With the revelations that Hillary Clinton is having to refile five years of tax returns due to not reporting tens of millions in donations to the Clinton Foundation on previous tax returns, some speculated that the Clinton’s used the same tax preparer that the MSNBC hosts used. However, Clinton staffers tell us this rumor is untrue, adding, “We just thought we could omit the donations and nobody would call us on it. But now that you mention it, do you have the phone number for the guys that did the MSNBC tax returns?”