by E. Williams on 11/05/15 at 8:34 pm
OKLAHOMA CITY – (satireworld.com)
Just a week after attempting to murder civilians at a Draw Muhammad cartoon event, ISIS is threatening to launch terrorist attacks on Little Caesar’s Pizza locations over their new bacon-wrapped pizza. It appears the terrorist organization has decided to destroy everything they disagree with in America.
Radical London Imam, Anjem Choudary, said about the threat, “Little Caesar’s is obviously taunting Islam with their “hate cooking.” There is no need to put bacon around a pizza. Much less three feet of it! This is a disrespectful act and we reserve the right to retaliate at the moment of our choosing. Little Caesar’s will rue the day they decided to taunt the Islamic faith.”
Media elites have already started weighing in on the issue. CNN’s Chris Cuomo tweeted, “Hate cooking is not protected by the First Amendment. Bacon around a pizza is clearly provocative.”
MSNBC’s Chris Hayes commented on his show, “Just because a restaurant chain CAN wrap a pizza in bacon doesn’t mean they SHOULD. This kind of cooking is a recipe for disaster.”
Bacon lovers around the country were not moved by the liberal sentiments. Posts to Little Caesar’s website forums ranged from support for the pizza chain for standing strong in the face of the new threats, to complaints asking ‘why couldn’t you use four feet of bacon?’”
Undercover police officer’s have been stationed outside numerous Little Caesar’s locations in multiple states until the latest threat has passed.