Hillary Campaign Promise: “I’ll Only be Half as Disappointing as President Obama Has Been”

by on 18/06/15 at 5:22 pm

Who's taking notes?

Who’s taking notes?

NEW HAMPSHIRE – (satireworld.com)

In a soaring speech that brought her crowd of supporters to their feet, Hillary Clinton today made her most inspirational case for why she should be the next president of the United States. She tossed red meat to her base by promising that, if elected, she will only suck half as bad as Barack Obama has.

“As we move forward in an uncertain world,” Mrs. Clinton told the crowd, “It is vital that we have someone in the White House who will not be as disappointing as President Obama! I promise to you today that I will only be HALF as disappointing as President Obama has been!” The crowd went wild.

“I think that’s the best we can hope for,” said Tim Carson, a volunteer for the Ready for Hillary New Hampshire campaign. “I mean, let’s be honest, if she gets elected we know there will be a new scandal every three or four days, but that’s our new normal. I can live with that. President Obama has failed to make the oceans recede and has been a big disappointment in other ways too. So, if Hillary can convince enough people that she won’t be as bad I’d say this is our race to lose.”

Hillary continued whipping the crowd into a frenzy. “We often cite the made-up statistic that women in America only get paid seventy cents to every dollar a man earns, or 70%. I pledge to you that I will shoot for never being more than 70% as disappointing as President Obama has been!” Again, bringing the audience to their feet.

Meanwhile, conservative candidates for president are telling America they vow to turn things around, straighten out Mr. Obama’s mess, and not be a disappointment at all. Time will tell which direction the country will choose to go.

2 Responses to “Hillary Campaign Promise: “I’ll Only be Half as Disappointing as President Obama Has Been””

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 22nd, 2015

    For sale by owner:

    1992 “Hillary;” driven by a little old left wing Democratic on Sunday to view the Benghazi Libya embassy attack and resulting deaths; low mileage as husband drove a newer model “Monica;” some plastic body work, like on the antique “Pelosi;” and only been in a single accident, when T-boned by a 2008 “Obama!”

    Best offer or large donation to political foundation accepted!

  2. E. Williams

    Jun 22nd, 2015

    I think that one is ready for the scrap yard.

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