El Chapo pops out of sewer in San Diego, granted Amnesty, Driver’s License and Food Stamps!

by on 14/07/15 at 1:40 pm

A very happy El Chapo says he's moving to New York City, a sanctuary city,. and plans on buying a $50M condo in Trump Tower....."Senor Trump he like money better'n stinky Mex'cans like me!"

A very happy El Chapo says he’s moving to New York City, a sanctuary city,. and plans on buying a $50M condo in Trump Tower…..”Senor Trump he like money better’n stinky Mex’cans like me!”

Tijuana, Mexico – (satireworld.com)

Days after Mexico’s richest man, 2nd only to Carlos Slim, El Chapo escaped from a “high security” prison through a state of the art tunneling project funded by an Obama executive order to create shovel ready jobs for ‘undocumented tourists” he has popped up in San Diego, CA, a major crossing point for illegals and drugs into the US.

A contingent of Hollywood activists and politicians were on hand to great him as he emerged holding a Corona and puffing on a Cuban Cigar along with his Mariachi Band playing “Yes, we have no bananas today”.

After getting a key to the city and receiving an invite to appear as Obama’s guest before a joint session of congress he graciously reiterated that “that Trump is a chubacabra to be hunted down and decapitated like the dog he is!”

“I can’t blame him for that,” said Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Liz Warren and NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio” (sic) as they ratcheted up their socialist rhetoric leading up to the 2016 Presidential coronation.

Showing his appreciation to his progressive California supporters and especially Gov. Jerry Moonbeam Brown, El Chapo donated his tunnel to the cash starved state who promptly pledged to turn it into a ‘Toll Road to Freedom” to help defray costs of importing bottled wazter from China to keep landscaping alive on mansions owned by tech giants who control Google, Micro Soft, and Fisker.

After the fanfare died down El Chapo was whisked off by a motor cade co host a fund raiser for Hillary at the lavish home of Hollywood heavy weight Michael Moore for a $45,000 a plate Burrito and Minuet o Brunch.

The rest of the country was rushing to comply with Obama and the Supremes to replace the recently disgraced Confederate flag with the Mexican Flag, bumper stickers and repackaged Acapulco Gold Choom Sticks!

More after the surrender ceremony at the Alamo!

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