Uproar over Mayor De Blasio’s porn doors scheme

by on 19/07/15 at 10:04 am

Bill de Blasio (shown taking his oath of office) promised during his campaign that internet service would improve in privately owned buildings with several new channels.  The woman in the pointy hat in the photo is the Mayor's daughter who traveled all the way from Hogwarts to be at the ceremony.

Bill de Blasio (shown taking his oath of office) promised during his campaign that internet service would improve in privately owned buildings with several new channels.
The woman in the pointy hat in the photo is the Mayor’s daughter who traveled all the way from Hogwarts to be at the ceremony, the other woman on the right is ‘Crazy Eyes’ from the Netflix Emmy-winning show ‘Orange is the New Black’.


The tip off for the Flubbs that it was politically biased cable connection was the 24 hour Hillary Channel sponsored by BP Oil.

The tip off for the Flubbs that it was politically biased building internet connection was the 24 hour Hillary Channel sponsored by BP Oil and the Oscar Mayer Dildo Company.

New York – (satireworld.com)

Campaign donors who bankrolled Bill de Blasio’s triumphant 2014 City Hall win are up in arms over a mayoral housing scheme that limits NYC renters’ internet porn access at new residential properties built on municipal land.

Dubbed the ‘porn doors row’ the spat involves free wi-fi enjoyed by affluent apartment owners in a mixed-use Meatpacking District building where comparatively ‘humble’ rent-paying neighbors are being charged premium rates for accessing the same system.

This morning angry tenants Heine and Doritt Flubb described it as a tawdry subsidy scam run by the same third-rate Gansevoort hookers suspected of sponsoring ex-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s dubious former email server arrangements.

“Never mind Mayor de Blasio’s much discredited poor doors segregation scheme,” Heine Flubb fumed, “it’s this latest porn doors business that really sucks.”

The Flubbs live in a small $800-per-month rental tucked away at the rear of the building where flashy Hudson River-facing condominiums sell for up to $20 million.

Clauses in their housing lease make it virtually impossible to opt out of the building’s in-house internet provision which is marketed as one of the perks of apartment ownership in a controversial plan first drawn up by ex-Mayor Bloomberg.

Commenting on an upcoming tenants’ class action involving attorneys at specialist property rights law firm Fang & Claw informed reporters that “Wanking into a building should not be any different based on income status.”

A trial date of 25 August has been set.



5 Responses to “Uproar over Mayor De Blasio’s porn doors scheme”

  1. Bargis

    Jul 19th, 2015

    lol….the best!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jul 19th, 2015

    Central Park horse drawn cabs, salt limitations and poor doors proves this NYC Mayor is a putz!

  3. O'Leg Pee

    Jul 19th, 2015

    Putz or just nutz? I worry about young Dante de B and his unfortunate hair cut, could be all kinds of wildlife lurking in them there curls.

  4. Captain america

    Jul 20th, 2015

    ….the return of the Chia plant…Rapid Grow new drug of choice
    For thugs!

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