by E. Williams on 27/07/15 at 7:24 am
SYRIA – (satireworld.com)
Once the poster boy for the evil of ISIS, the man credited with killing numerous hostages held by the terror group is reportedly now on the run from the very group that made him a star. According to the Jerusalem Post, John is in hiding, probably within a different JV terror group. Previously feared and respected within the ranks of ISIS, John became worried after the West uncovered his identity that fellow militants might become jealous of his notoriety and try to knock him off.
So far, he has tried using several aliases such as Jihadi Jordan, Jihadi Caitlyn, and Jihadi Kanye. He’s also tried to disguise himself as a woman, the newest member of One Direction, a pile of scrub brush, and even a goat with a sign around its neck that reads, “I HAVE SYPHILIS. PLEASE DO NOT F^@k.”
The worst thing that could happen is for US forces to capture him only to have our Sympathizer-in-Chief work out a trade for his release. Is the going rate still 5 for 1?