Navajo Nation Declares War on the United States

by on 12/08/15 at 7:59 am

Mexican officials, who rely on the Colorado River for drinking water, say the colorful yellow water is a big hit with Tijuana party-goers who like the festive color in their drinks with little umbrellas.

Mexican officials, who rely on the Colorado River for drinking water, say the colorful yellow water is a big hit with Tijuana party-goers who like the festive color in their drinks with little umbrellas.


Navajo Chief 'Big Eagle' Warren promises to bottle all the contaminated water and ship it to China.

Navajo Chief ‘Big Eagle’ Warren promises to bottle all the contaminated water and ship it to China.


Durango/Silverton CO – (satireworld.com)

The Animas River in southwestern Colorado has been horribly polluted with toxic water spilled from an abandoned mine located in the region. The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has accepted responsibility, saying agency personnel accidentally breached an underground store of mine waste and chemical-laced water.

Three million gallons of pollutants has turned the Animas River into an unnatural looking mustard-yellow, orange ribbon. State health department officials are still unsure if there is a toxic threat to humans or animals. The river is now closed indefinitely, with visitors warned to stay out.

The Native American Indian Treaty Organization (NAITO), whose current chairman is from the Navajo Nation, has called an emergency meeting, as the intersection of the Animas and other rivers also affects the states of New Mexico, Arizona and Utah. Independent Indian lands are expected to be polluted in all four states.

NAITO was formed about 115 years ago after the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIU) “Palefaces” showed up, saying “we’re here from the government to help you.” The rest is American Indian history!

The NAITO Chairman indicated that again the EPA “Palefaces” have showed up, saying “we’re here from the government to help you.” He invoked the ancient Navajo term “Schmucks” for these hapless EPA bureaucrats who couldn’t leave old mines alone. He also asked for suggestions from the member tribes as to what the NAITO response should be to this violation of American Indian sovereignty.

Three major proposals were considered: scalping all EPA personnel; law suits for billions of dollars against the EPA; and going on the warpath by invading the EPA Headquarters Buildings located at the Federal Triangle Complex in Washington DC. The latter proposal was overwhelmingly ratified including the use of modern weapons and the sanctioned scalping of high ranking EPA executives.

President Barack Obama received notification of the NAITO Declaration of War, which interrupted his playing golf while vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard MA. He immediately drew a “Red Line at Metro Center” north of the Federal Triangle Washington DC Metro station and ordered the EPA employees to build a wooden stockade fence around the EPA Headquarters Buildings.

Subsequently, via a conference call President Obama ordered EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy, Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Democratic Presidential candidates former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Senator Bernie Sanders (D-VT), and former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley to travel to Durango CO. On arrival they are to swim, fish (eating the fish) and Kayak in the Animas River, diplomatically demonstrating to NAITO the safety of the water and averting conflict!

The president then resumed his golf game!



11 Responses to “Navajo Nation Declares War on the United States”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Aug 12th, 2015

    President Obama held secret negotiations with NAITO representatives to defuse the situation. He then issued an Executive Order ceding Texas to the organization.

    However, Texans were not too pleased and……………………………………

  2. E. Williams

    Aug 12th, 2015

    We Texans politely told the President to take his EO, along with his pen and his phone, and shove them all up his skinny ass.

  3. Patriot Girl

    Aug 24th, 2015

    So funny Elizabeth (woo-woo) Warren is my senator.. I love the pic of her in her native garb!! Haw haw! The disgusting thing about this lying sack of shit is that the voters found out about her lies that she was part Indian so she could get a teaching gig at Harvard AND VOTED FOR HER ANYWAY!! If she runs for Vice President w Biden as president I can only shudder at the thought of those two LEFTWING lying sacks of shit given more power than they already have! Great article!

    • Bargis

      Aug 24th, 2015

      She appears to be deceiving in nature and cannot understand how people in your state voted for her. Then again, I have people in my state that voted for that douchebag Debbie Wasserman-Schultz!!!!

      • Patriot Girl

        Aug 28th, 2015

        Poor you having the hapless, vapid, bovine wasserman- Shultz as rep! But she’s small potatoes and she’s a lying sack of shit too! Warren is a senator and has a bit more clout and both my senators embarrass the hell outta me! Both for amnesty, more Syrian Muslims refugees (MARKEY one of the JIHADI CAUCUS ( goggle it) and both support Iran deal in their attempt to join obola destroy America from within and without! They both suck but Shultz is not far behind at least my two morons don’t go on TV and make utter asses of themselves like w-Shultz does! God what a disgraceful farce!

        • Bargis

          Aug 28th, 2015

          Captain America once dated DWS back in college…Said she smelled funny. Took some great topless photos though!

        • Philbert of Macadamia

          Aug 28th, 2015

          Markey has always been a johnny-come-lately Democratic asshole even when in the US House of Representatives!

    • Philbert of Macadamia

      Aug 28th, 2015

      Don’t forget it took eight years to get rid of “tax and spend,” liberal Democratic Governor Martin O’Smelly and elect a Republican Governor Larry Hogan! O’Smelly ran the MD budget up $10 billion in eight years, using the people of MD as his ATM!

      Now the lying dirt-bag O’Smelly has moved on to try and screw the entire nation’s working wage earners and retirees out of their incomes by running for president. Promising more federal government giveaways to Obama’s Democratic freeloader voters!

  4. Captain america

    Aug 28th, 2015

    ….ahhh…MassHoles!….wait till DWS pushes for a
    BigDig for a tunnel from Palm Beach to Havanna
    By the same folks who brought Boston to a stand stll
    Due to mis management, ineptitude and corruption!
    Lizzy…the pow wow Princess!
    Cap reporting from the 151 rotary in Mashpee!

  5. Captain america

    Aug 28th, 2015

    …..Bargis is just jealous….it was a mercy F**** after she begged me
    After she fainted when he exposed him self….she said “you’re no Anthony Weiner….!

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