by Philbert of Macadamia on 21/08/15 at 6:04 am
Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com)
There were a total of 211 homicides in the city, as of August 15, 2015, exceeding the total for all of the year 2014. Most of the homicides are during Black on Black altercations. Democratic Mayor Stephanie Rawlings Blake says the murder situation is under control and is due to all those wild illegal guns in the city.
The mayor described three instances of homicides in Baltimore: 1) members of two different groups of gangbangers were walking peacefully down the street, when suddenly handguns hiding behind garbage cans and telephone poles jumped out into each of the gang members hands and shootings began; 2) a hooded man was kidnapped in front of 711 Convenience Store by a sawed off shotgun, forcing him to rob the place; and 3) drive by shootings caused by scared automatic weapons hiding in cars, resulted in collateral damage to innocent children.
The mayor announced that Sheriff Buffalo Al Sharpton’s posse of out of state race hustlers are coming to clean up West Baltimore by lassoing all those wild illegal guns and running them out of town to Ferguson MO, to prevent anticipated riots here. The mayor added that she was acting because “Black Lives Matter” will save my political career after this year’s Baltimore riots!