FAA Proposes to Ban Commercial Use of Drones for Five Years

by on 24/08/15 at 7:38 pm

FAA coordinator Lester Tremble said the meeting seemed to drone on and on for hours.

FAA coordinator Lester Tremble said the meeting seemed to drone on and on for hours.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

A spokesperson for the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) announced that all commercial drones will be banned for five years until the FAA can come up with a set of regulations and develop software to prevent crashes with commercial airliners. In the interim period, drones will be treated as radio controlled model airplanes subject to height and line-of-sight flying rules.

This FAA pronouncement did not sit well with both commercial unmanned aerial vehicles (UAV) manufacturers and potential users, as over $1 billion per year in lost business could occur. A protest was organized to show the displeasure of the business community with the FAA announcement in the South Korean farmers protest manner, supplemented by US commercial technology. When South Korean farmers get angry with their government they throw dung.

Local farmers in Maryland, Virginia and Delaware provided tons of cow, pig and chicken poop via large 18 wheeler trucks. The fast food industry provided their next generation of labor free robotic hamburger and meatball maker, cooker and meat flipper machines. These autonomous machines took the poop from the trucks, processed it into tennis ball size pellets and automatically loaded the spheroids into canisters housed on the drones/UAVs. All completely hands free!

The UAVs flew at less than 400 feet over FAA Headquarters located on Independence Avenue SW in the District of Columbia, released their payloads and then left and returned with reloads. CLUNK and SPLAT was heard on the roof! FAA employees thought it was just a smelly hailstorm in the middle of an August afternoon, until the windows became opaque. Meanwhile, telephone calls were made by the UAV protest leaders to FAA upper management about a compromise to stop the bombardment.

FAA upper management agreed that the regulators would phase in commercial drone/UAV flights beginning in 2015, starting with limited flights of small drones/UAVs weighing 55 pounds or less. Privacy and safety concerns are to be addressed jointly by all parties.

Many people employed at the FAA Headquarters will be constantly asked “where were you when the s**t storm hit the building and blew all over the place?”

Leave a Reply