by Philbert of Macadamia on 31/08/15 at 5:27 am
Ann Arbor MI- (satireworld.com)
A Food and Drug Administration (FDA) rule requires restaurants and food retail shops with over 20 locations, such as pizza delivery chains, to post in-store menu boards displaying nutritional information.
A Domino’s Pizza spokeswoman indicated this requirement would be particularly hard on their franchises and necessitate extremely large menu boards. Domino’s Pizza offers 34 million different pizza pie and topping combinations, although over 90 percent of Domino’s business comes in over the telephone or online. Most Domino’s customers never see an in-store menu board, as these are used in less than 1.5% of total orders each day. Domino’s has also been providing nutritional information voluntarily online for 10 years.
A consortium of Domino’s Pizza, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars and Papa John’s are lobbying Congress to relax the FDA rules (400 pages of labeling regulations) under the Common Sense Nutrition Disclosure Act of 2015. This bill is currently awaiting action in the US House Energy and Commerce Committee and would allow stores that mostly deliver food items to provide calorie/nutritional information online and through mobile apps.
Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) has taken an interest in getting this common sense legislation passed in both chambers of Congress and to President Obama’s desk for signature.
Potential conflict of interest suspicions have risen about a circulating Wall Street rumor that the Clinton Foundation is considering buying Domino’s Pizza for an undisclosed amount of money provided by a Middle East group of Arab nations. The new owners plan to offer the 34 million different pizza pie and topping combinations, and add a million more regional toppings. These new toppings include camel and goat meat, but pork products, e.g. sausage, pepperoni, bacon and ham would be taken off the menu.
Shock waves are anticipated throughout the “Pizza Eating Community” with potential million person marches and peaceful protest rallies at the US Capitol in Washington DC over no pork product toppings on Domino’s pizzas. Sympathetic boycotts of the three other large pizza chains are also expected. The loss of pizza business will affect the US Gross Domestic Product (GDP) and foreign business. Additionally, the FDA and the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) would frown on camel meat toppings!
Cooler heads prevailed as the issue was settled by private emails between the Clinton Foundation lawyers and the Arab nation’s lawyers, as pork products would be called the “other white meat” and camel meat toppings were dropped. Furthermore, the new owners plan to change the name Domino’s Pizza to “Pelosi’s San Francisco Pizza!”