by E. Williams on 04/10/15 at 12:50 pm
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Russian President Putin has launched airstrikes in Syria, effectively neutering President Obama and his weak Middle East policy. While Mr. Obama’s policy has been to destroy the part of ISIS that is neither Islamic nor extremist by playing tiddlywinks, Putin is using firepower, kicking ass and taking names.
It would appear that the Russian leader has seized upon Obama’s inability to act to gain control of the situation in the Middle East. However, for all the bravado Mr. Putin is showing by flexing his muscles in Syria, all parties concede, “President Obama takes better selfies.” Sure, he can’t lead, show force, or put a scare into anybody, but he’s a master with the selfie stick.
Russian diplomats concede that Mr. Putin usually has someone else take pictures of him to show the world. “Who does that anymore?!” asked a laughing 17 year-old White House spokesman Josh Earnest at a press briefing today.
Earnest told reporters that President Obama practices taking selfies for hours each day and his technique is impeccable, his framing of each image….exquisite. It’s like the selfie stick is an extension of his own body. A proud Josh then said, “Putin may have wrestled control of the Middle East away from us, but he can’t take a selfie for shit!”
It’s too early to tell how this shift in power will affect the turmoil in the region but, for now, Americans will have to rely on the inferior pictures they can get of the conflict from the Russians.