by E. Williams on 07/10/15 at 6:08 am
WASHINGTON D.C. – (satireworld.com)
Desperate to find some kind of strategy for dealing with Syria, now that Russian President Putin has caught the Obama administration without a plan, President Obama summoned his top military advisers to the White House today for a high-stakes game of RISK in hopes of coming up with a plan.
RISK is a board game in which players try to out strategize each other by capturing territory in an effort to achieve global domination. It took several hours for military advisers to get Mr. Obama to understand the game as he kept claiming Putin did it, in Syria, with the candlestick.
Other times, the president got the game confused with another board game when he repeatedly said “Sorry!” anytime he made a winning move and conquered a country. His generals thought he was just acting out his famous ‘apology tour’ strategy.
As the military brass used infantry, cavalry, and artillery pieces to play the game, Mr. Obama insisted he be the thimble from his Monopoly game. His generals were further exasperated when the president would answer “Go Fish” whenever they asked him if he had come up with a strategy yet.
Mr. Obama used a pink sharpie pen to draw his multiple “red lines” in the sand when threatening his opponents with force, but the other players disregarded the boundaries like world leaders do in real life.
After six hours of trying to play the game, the president failed to come up with a winning strategy and told his advisers that he would consult his Magic 8-Ball for answers on how to deal with Putin in Syria.