by Philbert of Macadamia on 02/11/15 at 7:16 pm
Baltimore MD – (satireworld.com)
Cars, trucks, buses and jet airplanes packed with rabid environmentalists and animal rights activists arrived in Baltimore this past weekend to protest the death of a number of innocent birds resident in “Charm City.” Thousands of gallons of fossil fuel were expended and pollution effects were ignored by these folks for their nobler purpose.
PETA representatives held a rally in the northwest part of the city where the April 2015 riots and looting had taken place. However, the new vacant lots made for “space” to contain all the protesters, as long as they were careful not to step on the broken liquor bottles and smashed large screen TVs. A march to city hall subsequently followed the protest rally, in order to acquaint Baltimore’s Democratic Mayor Stephanie Rawlings Blake with the dastardly slaughter of innocent birds.
President Obama declined to attend the rally as he had an 8:30 AM Tee time at the Congressional Country Club in Bethesda! The President did send Vice President Joe Biden, but ordered the Secret Service to make sure he smiled and kept silent.
Reporters from CNBC, fresh from being moderators at the GOP debate, were aghast at the innocent slaughter of birds in a progressive city like Baltimore. However, reporters from the Washington-Baltimore metropolitan area, CNN and Fox News channel and elsewhere wanted proof of where these dead birds could be found.
PETA and CNBC personnel said there were 25 dead Orioles at Oriole Park at Camden Yards and 25 dead Ravens at M&T Bank Stadium, respectively. Respected Radio and TV sports announcers noted that CNBC, PETA and the environmentalists ended up “getting the bird!”