by E. Williams on 25/11/15 at 4:41 pm
IOWA – (satireworld.com)
Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have this whole terrorism thing figured out. So today, Mrs. Clinton echoed the president’s sentiment in a speech, saying Muslims have nothing to do with terrorism whatsoever. She also told the crowd that life is so much more fun and carefree when you live in denial.
“Muslims have nothing to do with terrorism,” Hillary said. “Terrorists who kill in the name of Islam are just calling themselves Muslims because they think it’s cool or hip to do so. Like a rebellious teenager just trying to get attention. If I had a nickel to donate to the Clinton Foundation for every time Chelsea threatened to blow something up when she didn’t get her way as a teenager, well, I wouldn’t have had to secretly funnel money from foreign governments and then delete all those emails!” she cackled to the laughing crowd.
“My enemies on the Republican side don’t understand this, so I’ll say it again. Muslims have nothing to do with terrorism. Just like liberals have nothing to do with political correctness, Black Lives Matter has nothing to do with Ferguson, Monica Lewinsky had nothing to do with my husband Bill, and my opening my mouth has nothing to do with putting my foot in it.”
Mrs. Clinton repeated the White House talking point that calling ISIS “radical Islam” (she couldn’t say the words, so Huma Weiner had to hold up a sign for the crowd while Hillary made the air-quote gesture with her fingers) plays right into their hands. She told the crowd that if we will all just ignore ISIS they will get bored and go away.
“ISIS is not radical, nor are they Islamic. They’re not extremists, nor are they Muslim. They’re just a couple of guys out for a walk one night who decided they’d go kill some Americans!” she shouted.
Mr. Obama said this week that ISIS has threatened to smuggle fighters into the United States with the influx of Syrian refugees and that, if we don’t allow them to infiltrate our country that way, they will attack us here anyway. “Obviously, you can see that appeasement is the best solution. There is no need to poke the hornet’s nest,” Obama said.
Finally, Hillary told her dumbed-down audience that if she is elected president, she will allow as many Syrian refugees into the country as possible and, if any of them launch terror attacks against us, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. The reality of the situation is this – if we’re going to have an honest discussion about how to fight terrorism in this country, we need to all be in denial about the same things. So won’t you please join me in pretending that ISIS doesn’t exist? And thank you for your vote next November!”