Occasionally History is a Real Bear

by on 15/12/15 at 6:11 am

Editor' Note: S was used simply because Dipshitski was already in use.

Editor’s Note:
Schmuckski was used simply because Dipshitski was already in use.

Washington DC: (satireworld.com)

The writers at Satireworld.com are always striving to bring the news of the day to an American public craving the truth about their elected federal, state and local representatives. This undertaking is made difficult these days by political correctness, cover-ups, corruption and the ignorance of incompetent high placed politicians. One amusing event did occur when the editor of Satireworld.com received a letter from the Russian Federation Embassy.

Chief Editor Satireworld.com
Bargis Tryhol
USA

Dear Editor Tryhol:

Your Satireworld.com blog is widely read here at The Russian Federation’s embassy in Washington DC and at home, for us to keep up on partisan politics (Republican and Democratic) in the USA. Although we do not inject our own views in your political process it is rather entertaining at times.

However, a reference to your president/chief executive as “Schmuckski” has caught Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin by surprise. The surname “Schmuckski” is an honored family name in the Russian Federation’s history, going back to when our nation was still ruled by a royal house, namely Tsarist Russia.

President Putin called in the US Ambassador, demanded an apology and that something be done about such printed slander to an old respected Russian surname (1). The US Ambassador called Secretary of State (SOS) John Kerry about the incident (2). The Russian Federation Ambassador (3) resident at the Washington DC embassy was then called by SOS Kerry’s office. I was delegated the task of contacting you Mr. Bargis Tryhol because of my family connections.

My great, great grandfather General Boris “Schmuckski” fought the French at Moscow in 1812, to eventually defeat their army led by the capitalist Emperor Napoleon. Unfortunately Boris was killed in the ensuing battles. Never the less, Boris was a hero such that Tsar Alexander I awarded my family large estates with many peasants living on the land.

Please contact me at your earliest convenience, such that a mutually beneficial agreement can be arrived at to resolve this incident.

Sincerely,
Ivan Schmuckski
Public Relations Secretary
Russian Federation Embassy
Washington DC

 

Ivan Schmuckski
Public Relations Secretary
Russian Federation Embassy
Washington DC

Dear Ivan Schmuckski:

Chief Editor Bargis Tryhole asked me to respond to your letter.

During the reign of Tsar Alexander II in 1861 Russia abolished serfdom. Apparently, corrupt nobles named “Schmuckski” never got the memo about freeing their serfs until the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 against Tsar Nicolas II. The results of this revolution didn’t go too well for the Russian people for the next 85 years. We at Satireworld.com do inject our own views in your political process, especially when it violates our First Amendment (4) rights under the US Constitution.

My great, great grandfather, Viktor Chekov, an escaped Russian peasant was a private soldier in the Continental Army fighting the British during the American Revolution War. His posterity received the Constitution of the United States!

So no thanks to any negotiations about “Schmuckski.” We have an old American proverb “If the shoe fits, wear it.”

Sincerely,
Writer Satireworld.com
Natasha Chekov
USA

 

Authors Notes:
(1) In his written report to SOS John Kerry about the meeting with President Putin, the US Ambassador did notice a slight smile on President Putin’s face when “Schmuckski” and President Obama’s name were mentioned in the same sentence. Additionally, trying to explain the First Amendment to the US Constitution was a waste of time.
(2) SOS Kerry was in Paris with President Obama worrying about climate change.
(3) The Russian Federation Ambassador to the US was away in the Ukraine on important business.
(4) Prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.



Leave a Reply