Obama Finally Has a Plan to Defeat ISIS

by on 27/12/15 at 9:54 am

Lead attorney in the fight against ISIS is  39 year old Meta el Abulula a graduate from Harvard and a fellow golfer.

Lead attorney in the fight against ISIS is 39 year old Meta el Abulula a graduate from Harvard and a fellow golfer.

Washington DC: (satireworld.com)

President Barack Obama after seven years in the White House refusing to say “Islamic terrorism,” has finally come up with a plan of action to destroy ISIS. This plan was driven by Congress deleting the funding for the White House’s larder, meaning no more truffles, caviar and chocolates for First Lady Michelle. President Obama reprogrammed the money supporting all the White House liberal lawyers to satisfy Michelle’s palate and then reassigned all 800 lawyers to the Pentagon.

The Pentagon proceeded to activate the 1st White House Lawyer’s Brigade (WHLB) to fight ISIS in Syria. There now will be black wing tip shoes on the ground (instead of boots) in Syria throwing law books at the ISIS/Islamic terrorists and setting rules of engagement to combat workplace violence! Combat training lasted one week before the recruits were ready to be shipped out to go into “harm’s way.” Highlights of the training are:

  • The 1st WHLB will be armed with the new, but combat untested M 17 Felony Assault Rifle (FAR) that uses a 10 round magazine. The lead lawyer of the 1st WHLB has petitioned the Supreme Court to be allowed to use a 1,000 round magazine of depleted uranium bullets.
  • CDROMs containing law books will be cut, shaped and sharpened into the shape of Ninja stars for house to house encounters with Islamists.
  • If it looks like an Islamic terrorist wearing a Burka, walks like a terrorist wearing a Burka and it is about to fire a rocket propelled grenade, gender identity need not be taken into account. Similarly Miranda rights don’t apply.
  • An Islamic terrorist firing an AK 47 Assault Rifle in your direction can be construed to be more than “micro-aggressive.”
  • The motto of the 1st WHLB is tort, tort, tort!
  • There is no “safe space” in combat, especially when bombs and mortar shells are bursting in air.
  • An armed American public will defend against ISIS terrorists at home.

President Obama held a brief early morning going away ceremony at Washington National/Reagan International Airport for the 1st WHLB, where he made a short speech, before rushing to his Tee time at the Congressional Country Club!

One Response to “Obama Finally Has a Plan to Defeat ISIS”

  1. Bargis

    Dec 27th, 2015

    good one!

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