by News Wire Contributor on 11/02/16 at 5:48 am
Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)
Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems faced the Democratic Party today as the 2016 elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as the predominate adjective used most often on television to describe the situation with the Left.
Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the candidates offered by the Democrat party after almost eight years of lack-luster performance, pink unicorn promises, and general party apathy.
Hoping the sexual enhancement drug Viagra will somehow increase their political libidos, millions of Democrats across the country have nearly cleaned out pharmacy stocks in a rush to somehow jump start an agenda that has completely, and simply run out of steam.
Promises of a ‘Change You Can Believe In,’ that never happened, and the over used word ‘Hope,’ as a means of instilling some vague, unspoken promise to voters, has left many ardent supporters of the current administration without a message for presidential election voters to attach too.
According to a Democratic spokesman who wished to remain anonymous, “What are we going to talk about? The sluggish economy? Obama’s bow to the King of Saudi Arabia? Kim Kardashian? Bernie Saunders vision of 1917 Russia? Hilary Clinton’s email ethics? ”
In the Administration’s closest inner circle, unrest and anxiety have caused the once steadfast supporters of Barack Obama’s policies to suddenly look for greener pastures away from and the deepening shadow of failed performances. But many are also looking for any free government stockpiles of Viagra they can take with them before they leave.
Rahn Emmanuel, the President’s ex-Chief of Staff, was observed taking a two-year supply of Viagra when he left the Wite House in order to help his political tenure as Mayor of Chicago. Others applauded the action, but noted that with Emmanuel, particularly concerning his past reputation, the only thing the Viagra could do is to make him taller.
Hampered with a struggling economy that has gone nowhere in almost 8 years except to line the pockets of bankers, unions, and bloated big government, the economy is showing signs of dipping into a second recession as important economic indicators have steadily dipped over the past three months. The weak economy, coupled with the report of increased numbers of government employees making over a hundred thousand dollars a year, has given middle-class taxpayers little to celebrate.
A recent GOA report revealed a 1500% rise in government officials making a hundred thousand dollars in salary(plus perks) since the current Administration has taken office in 2009. The survey strongly hinted at some election favors being repaid with well paying government jobs.
Questionable programs that were supposed to create jobs through bailout monies have left a bitter taste in many people’s mouths as revelations of a California-Obama approved project that funneled over $120 million dollars into a infrastructure project, but only created 56 new jobs!
Even the ill-fated Cash for Clunkers stimulus for the heavily unionized auto industry had caused some Republican comments..and even some back-handed praise. According to an industry insider and frequent commentator on conservative issues…”We’d loved the Cash for Clunkers Program. It removed millions of Obama bumper stickers from the road!”
Conservative leaders have offered some advice for their leftist brethren who are suffering from the embarrassing condition known as ‘Electile Dysfunction,’ “Relax, it’s only a few more months and everything will be ‘nice and quiet’ for you guys once again.”