Hillary Sex Doll Satisfies Sick Progressives

by on 26/03/16 at 12:07 pm

....available with Monica hair and a stained blue dress for only $19.95 more!

….available with Monica hair and a stained blue dress for only $19.95 more!


'It has a user-friendly feature to stop the lies from coming out of the Hillary Doll's mouth'

‘It has a user-friendly feature to stop the lies from coming out of the Hillary Doll’s mouth’

PHOENIX – (satireworld.com)

It takes all kinds, and today’s progressives have a reputation for flying their freak flags higher than anybody else. Combine this with the booming sex doll industry, an election year, and you have the Hillary sex doll.

Apologies to those who just threw up in their mouths. Operations manager Wes Jackson of RealDollz, Inc., explains how The Hillary sex doll came to be: “I’m around sex dolls all day long, so when I noticed that every time Hillary walks onstage at her campaign events, she has that gaping mouth syndrome, it just made perfect sense to use her for our latest sex doll model.”

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Gaping mouth syndrome is a condition which causes the patient’s mouth to drop wide open and is often combined with the “bug eyed” look. The condition is incurable and it makes the patient insufferable.

To distract others from the uncomfortable quirk, many victims of the affliction will point to other people, as if to say “It’s your fault that I keep opening my mouth wider than an anaconda every time I’m in front of a group of people.”

Jackson said the company has tried to capture the essence of Hillary in the dolls. “The Hillary is, of course, dressed in an easily removable pantsuit outfit, and even has thick cankles. It’s very authentic looking, we think.”

The Hillary comes in a basic model as well as an enhanced model. The more expensive, enhanced model comes with a microchip and soundboard that mimics her real life cackle, a noise that drives today’s progressive male wild, whenever a liberal male customer presents his manhood.

Jackson said The Hillary has been purchased by a number of twisted progressives, including somebody named ‘Huma,’ James Carville, David Brock (he owns 8 Hillary dolls), Bill Maher, Lena Dunham (who continues to maintain the doll is a real person and says it’s the best sex she’s ever had), and hefty filmmaker Michael Moore.



6 Responses to “Hillary Sex Doll Satisfies Sick Progressives”

  1. captain america

    Mar 26th, 2016

    Does she blow herself up?

  2. E. Williams

    Mar 26th, 2016

    All I know is what I’ve heard…..that she sucks!

  3. Philbert of Macadamia

    Mar 26th, 2016

    BTW: Good one EW.

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