Elizabeth ‘Fauxcohantos’ Warren Hopes For Clinton VP Spot

by on 10/06/16 at 7:11 am

Warren's request to wear traditional Native American garb was nixed by DNC staffers

Warren’s request to wear traditional Native American garb was nixed by DNC staffers

Boston, MA – (SatireWorld.com)

Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren announced late Monday that she is slated to open for former President Bill Clinton at this summer’s Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia.

“It will be an honor to share the convention stage with President Clinton on Wednesday, and to talk about what is happening to America’s families,” Warren said in a statement released by the Democratic National Convention Committee.

“I grew up in a freezing cold tee pee one of 11 kids from a hardworking Native American family. This was in an America that was investing in kids like me by giving me free everything. Hillary Clinton is committed to making sure that America has a level playing field for all our families and so insuring that every kid has the opportunity to make it. Even apparent frauds like myself who have time and again misrepresented my heritage to make MY playing field really level.””

“She was asked to speak because President Obama knows that Elizabeth is one of the strongest Native American advocates for what’s at stake for the middle class– and our shared vision to move the country forward,” Mindy Myers, Warren’s campaign staffer, informed supporters in a fundraising email shortly after the news broke.

Warren was originally scheduled to speak while wearing a buckskin dress and a feather in her hair but was persuaded to dress more mainstream.

3 Responses to “Elizabeth ‘Fauxcohantos’ Warren Hopes For Clinton VP Spot”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jun 10th, 2016

    The tee pee, pee pee was transgender!

  2. E. Williams

    Jun 10th, 2016

    I heard that her endorsement of Hill was on behalf of all twelve tribes in her clan.

  3. O'Leg Pee

    Jun 10th, 2016

    Descended from Buffalo Bull? More like Buffalo Bill…

Leave a Reply