by Oleg Penkovsky on 28/06/16 at 1:45 pm
New York – (Satireworld.com)
“Just ONE thing? Must have been a lousy lawyer – or numerically dyslectic!” That’s an investigator’s considered opinion about recent headlines describing how former Clinton White House deputy legal counsel and ex-Rose Law partner Vince Foster was discovered RIP at a Fort Marcy Park, Virginia, parking lot in a classic, two-bullet rat shot suicide in July 93. He was 69.
Foster’s death was initially greeted with dismay at the Oval Orifice before a hastily choreographed campaign kicked in claiming the Little Cock, Arkansas attorney was ‘depressed’ – much like ‘suicided’ God’s Banker, Roberto Calvi whose lifeless decrepit corpse was found hanging under London’s Blackfriars Bridge in June 1982, coat pockets stuffed with pricks – uh, bricks! – and empty quaalude bottles. Like Foster, too was ’69’.
This week some long-awaited research documents have been published that hint Vince Foster ‘knew something horrible’ about the newly inaugurated US Veep and his relations with Bill and Hill. And maybe, just maybe, with their darling little Miss Piggy-faced daughter Chelsea Clinton.
Gore, a lackluster asshole and the US nation’s leading Global Warming fantasist, was long suspected of taking an unhealthy shine to pre-pubescent Chelsea, despite her obvious, unfortunate facial resemblance to a porcine train wreck. (So, no change there today! ‘Ed’)
Even his coast-to-coast fans – all 38 of them! – thought him creepy in a Michael Jackson-ish kinda way – and ridiculed him for his many foibles ‘including his bizarrely named wife’.
“Al Gore’s the only United States Vice President ever to be married to someone named after a DOG!” is how one George Town housewife described the politician after discovering that in 1990s, Tipper was the most popular US name for mastiffs, Irish Wolfhounds and Staffordshire Terriers. And second favorite among mongrel-cross poodles in Wyoming, Nebraska and Fort Worth.
This was all too much for the Gores who eventually divorced after a US-wide poll found approximately two million indigenous dogs named Tipper had been registered for distemper inoculations at a time when the canine disease was running amok in the Everglades.
Today the term ‘distemper’ is also commonly used to describe a type of WHITEWASH employed widely in decorating and portrait painting.
And papering over presidential wannabes’ cracks.