by Philbert of Macadamia on 11/07/16 at 5:44 pm
Moose Crossing ME – (satireworld.com)
The Black Bear Lives Matter (BBLM) chapter located in Brooklyn NY, has recently moved to the state of Maine to help protect black bears from extinction. BBLM members had never seen any black bears roaming in New York City (NYC), thus voicing their concern. The group incessantly searched Manhattan’s Central park, but didn’t find any bears at all.
BBLM then tried to have the US Interior Department place the black bear on the Endangered Species List (ESL). BBLM was notified by the government that the American black bear (an omnivore) is a medium-sized bear native to North America. This animal is the continent’s smallest and most widely distributed bear species. It is also not considered globally threatened with extinction.
Not satisfied with the federal government’s answer, all 14 Brooklyn BBLM members relocated to Maine where there is a thriving black bear population they could protect. The BBLM group has not been seen or heard from for a week. So far in their search Maine State Police have found only one member trampled by a moose. Investigation of bear scat found in wooded areas has shown no indication of human remains. The leader of the police search party commented that “the other BBLM members are probably hiding in a cave, hopefully not with a black bear in residence!”