Lost? Scared? Heading For A Pre-Election Bladder Seizure?? Latest Mobile Tools Alert Clinton Family Of Hillary’s Location, Status, Bloodpressure C*unt, etc
by Oleg Penkovsky on 31/08/16 at 7:04 pm
New York City – (SatireWorld.com)
“So far none of her mobile apps, wearables or social media site contacts appears to have been infiltrated,” a campaign mouthpiece said today amid reports that Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been security tagged with a high tech ankle bracelet that alerts Bill, Chelsea and/or much of the Clinton Foundation if she needs help. Or is in danger. OR has run out of incontinence pads.
“The device tracks Hillary via her Gargle, FarceBook and Uber acc*unts,” the spokesperson added, “activating a personal safety tool in the event of, say, sudden mass shootings, or a mustard gas attack.
“Also works a treat for Biblical-sized flooding disasters, earthquakes, lesser seismic tremors. As well as personal badass gastric stuff.”
It means the Clinton family can now continually and safely check up on madcap Hillary utilizing her location in real time with all latest GPS data displayed on a handy, colorful 3-D map.
Commenting on this latest election campaign development an expert in high tech security systems told SatireWorld reporters that such tools can give loved ones ‘piss of mind’ – “without creating an environment that fosters downright mistrust or accusations of stalking.
“So far nobody has hacked those incontinence pads.”