by Philbert of Macadamia on 08/09/16 at 6:55 am
Hangzhou China- (satireworld.com)
US President Barack Obama was snubbed by the Chinese government when Air Force One landed in China for his attendance at the G-20 Economic Summit. He had to exit via the rear door of the airplane without the usual red carpet treatment accorded a visiting foreign head of state.
At a quickly convened press conference of Chinese reporters (who didn’t understand a word of his screed) Obama apologized for the Chinese snub, but blamed the US Senate’s rejection of Gun Control Legislation as causing the shallow 5.6 magnitude Oklahoma earthquake. This earthquake rattled Oklahoma and six neighboring states, with no serious casualties. The president claimed that the rejection by the US Senate, prior to the Congressional recess, of four gun-control amendments produced additional gunshots (acoustics/vibrations) heard across the Southwest USA correlates with the increased motion of the Earth’s crust, specifically in Oklahoma.
Obama’s federal government earthquake scientists at the US Geological Survey (USGS) have developed computer models showing sections of Oklahoma slowly rising and sinking like the chocolate frosting on a jelly donut. However, the USGS federal scientists were hard pressed to explain why there was a two month delay after the rejection of the amendments.
Republicans in the US House and Senate fired back that the USGS computer models clearly showed movement in Oklahoma, like the squishing of the prunes in a Prune Danish, being caused by reactions to Obama’s failed domestic and foreign policies, for example.
- US Senate rejection of the four new gun control amendments was pushback to prevent Obama disarming the American people, as ISIS/Islamic terrorist fighters are walking rapidly across the US southern border.
- The progressive Democratic sit-in in the US House of Representatives caused tremors as the cry babies jumped up and down for their mommy Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (D-CA).
- Supreme Court rejection of Obama’s unconstitutional illegal immigrant amnesty send shock waves through the country as illegal immigrants ran back across the US/Mexican border.
- Multiple state law suits against the EPA’s green power plan rattled Democrats.
- Multiple state law suits against King Obama’s Transgender bathroom decree rattled progressives.
- Multiple states being upset with Michelle Obama’s crappy school lunch program creating hungry kids with growling stomachs.
- Multiple state law suits against ObamaCare, supported by very angry acoustically verbose Americans who lost their health coverage.
- Multiple state law suits against Obama’s refusing to build the Keystone XL pipe line from Canada to the USA that was supported by very angry foot stomping idle workers.
President Obama has issued a new executive order to achieve full employment in the USA by using the 12 million illegal immigrants, the 200,000 Syrian refugees, the 12 million welfare recipients and the 18 million unemployed workers to super glue, cement and plaster over the earthquake damage in Oklahoma. Additional jobs will be created in supplying cement, plaster, trowels and other tools (shovel ready). Local merchant’s services for food and housing in Oklahoma will also get an economic boost.
The 114th Congress will be asked to appropriate $25 billion for the new program, but will kick the can down the road to the 115th Congress. The 2017 Supreme Court will probably be asked to review the aforementioned program decreed by another of Obama’s unconstitutional executive orders, if it survives the newly elected Republican US President’s pen!