by Philbert of Macadamia on 09/09/16 at 7:42 pm
Washington DC – (satireworld.com)
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) recently released a report summarizing unexplained experiences of US Astronauts, in the last 10 years, while on space missions. Many of the strange occurrences happened during extra-vehicular activities (space walks) and went unreported in the mainstream media, for example.
While working outside the International Space Station repairing externally mounted long range radio equipment, two astronauts were tethered to the station for safety purposes. Buzz Tesla reported that his fellow astronaut Irene Newton disappeared for 90 seconds and then reappeared. The mission commander immediately ordered both astronauts inside the space station.
Buzz was somewhat shaken up. Irene was in a total trance like coma and she and Buzz were transported back to Earth on the next resupply module. Irene remained in a coma for three weeks. Meanwhile NASA Astrophysicists figured that Irene had passed through a rift in the space-time continuum and was in another dimension for 90 seconds.
When Irene awoke and then pronounced fit by the medical doctors, she was asked by Buzz and the astrophysicists what she experienced. Irene related that her surroundings were very hot and smelled of sulfur. She was being transported across the River Styx by Charon to the Underworld where she observed Democrats President Barack Obama, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, Senator Harry Reid, former President Clinton, Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, VP Joe Biden, AG Loretta Lynch and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton all receiving their “Just Desserts!”
Irene said she screamed very loudly “for goodness sake I’m a registered Republican.” At this revelation Charon turned the boat around and headed back to the other shore. That’s when Irene reappeared outside the space station!