by Philbert of Macadamia on 12/09/16 at 5:29 am
Charleston, WV – (satireworld.com)
At a news conference held in this once thriving coal producing state, the founder of WikiLeaks announced that in the coming weeks thousands of Hillary Clinton’s destroyed or non-existent emails will be released. The latest batch of emails concern Hillary Clinton’s failed polygraph tests (lie detector) relative to her obtaining a TOP SECRET special access security clearance.
Hillary confessed to President Obama a number of years ago, before becoming US Secretary of State (SOS), that she wouldn’t be able to pass the polygraph testing. The president encouraged Hillary to take the tests anyway. As a known pathological liar Hillary failed all the tests, many times. Obama via a secret executive order granted her the needed clearances. Hence she ignored all the rules of handling classified materials.
The polygraph machines and associated test results were hidden in an old abandoned coal mine shaft by Obama, as political leverage over SOS Clinton. But Hillary also had a copy of his secret executive order, which allowed her to do whatever corrupt political favors she felt like, e.g. the Clinton Foundation Pay-to-Play speaking fees. The polygraph test administrators were all reassigned by Obama to the Antarctic Research facilities at the South Pole!
However, Hillary did destroy the one email that contained the exact coal mine shaft location of the hidden polygraph machines and the failed testing graphs. Hillary by her own admission can’t remember anything since one of her accidental falls!
It is unknown whether the state of West Virginia, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Wyoming, Arkansas, Montana, Idaho or other coal producing states has the coal mine shaft with the hidden polygraph materials. President Obama’s (Hillary’s too) answer to the dilemma was to shut down the coal industry and keep honest prying eyes out of coal mines.
Meanwhile, Obama also has his Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) employees searching abandoned mines for any sign of the missing materials, without being told what they were looking for. Thus the EPA agents searched the abandoned Gold King Mine in Colorado, spilling an estimated 1 million gallons of waste water turning the Animas River orange and unusable!