by Philbert of Macadamia on 04/11/16 at 5:00 am
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com)
Democrat Hillary Clinton and Republican Donald Trump have had their respective political camp’s aides drafting both acceptance and concession speeches for the evening of the November 8, 2016 Presidential Elections. Both candidates reluctantly prepared concession speeches and the drafts have been obtained by WikiLeaks!
- Republican Donald Trump speech was accessed from the new Trump International DC hotel: I will never give up trying to “Make America Great Again!” You and I together can still achieve the goals of upholding the US Constitution; reducing the national debt; balancing the US budget; growing the US economy; utilizing all of American energy sources; revamping the US tax code; rebuilding our military forces; destroying ISIS; supporting our veterans; repealing and replacing ObamaCare; achieving fair trade; building a wall across our southern border, paid for by Mexico; and the US gaining international respect in the world again from both friends and foes!
- Tonight I am instituting law suits in all 50 states charging the Democratic Party, President Barack Obama (VP Biden is not smart enough), FLOTUS Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, her campaign manager, DNC Chair Donna Brazile (and former DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Shultz), lame duck Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) and the US media with rigging the presidential election in favor of my corrupt opponent Hillary. I will go all the way to the Supreme Court, if I have to. I’m still going to fire crooked Hillary Clinton, as she’s beyond being an apprentice pathological liar!
- Hillary Clinton speech was accessed from the CNN Studios in Washington DC: The “vast right wing conspiracy” has finally brought me down. They accused me of all sorts of things beginning early in my career serving the public. I was supposedly involved in the “Whitewater” scam in Arkansas; called a liar during the “Watergate” hearings; proposing HillaryCare the forerunner of high cost ObamaCare; doing nothing as a US Senator (D-NY) but name post offices; lying about being under-fire in Bosnia; getting Americans killed by Islamic terrorists in Libya; destabilizing the entire Middle East while Secretary of State (SOS); sending classified TOP SECRET emails from my unprotected illegal home server; lying to Congress and the FBI under oath about the server; I really don’t want to disarm America, as I have an MIA Abrams tank in my basement guarding my server; I called people who don’t agree with me, “a basket of deplorables (racists, homophobic, misogynist and Islamophobia) in a nice way;” laundering foreign money (bribes) through the Clinton Foundation while SOS: defending slander of my poor loving husband President Bill, about his extramarital affairs with other women and having sex with a lady named Monica in the Oval Office; and playing the vagina card to win the presidency.
- Well you won’t have Grandma Hillary to kick around anymore!
May Republican and Democratic politicians “live in interesting times” when they ignore the US Constitution and thwart the will of the American people!
Author’s Note: Story based on an idea of Mrs. Philbert.