by Bargis Tryhol on 15/11/16 at 2:06 pm
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
The GOP still basking in the shellacking it handed the gobsmacked DNC in the presidential elections of 2016. Politely offered an olive branch of sorts looking to re-ignite the friendly but competitive spirit of bygone days in the political arena.
“We were always slap-on-the-back buddies even after the most arduous campaigns,” claims Newt Gingrich and ardent politico who’s talents helped Donald Trump spirit away a once believed sure-bet Democrat election victory for Hillary Clinton.
Another offering of peace came from Sarah Palin who suggested the two mascots get together over a beer summit or something similar and sing ‘Kumbaya’ while holding hands walking along Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC.
Hundreds of stunned Democratic voters were still stumbling around with their dark, hollow eyes staring into a void so dark that sunlight couldn’t escape as the loss of a week ago still heavily weighed upon their shoulders. In Portland, police taped blinking lights to over one hundred ‘stumblers,’ as they’re now called, in an effort to prevent cars from hitting them at night as they aimlessly ambled in circles on crowded city streets.
“We wuz robbed! Now what?” claimed Jason Withers, a twenty year old who admits the only president he ever really knew in his life was Obama, and wonders how life could possibly go on without a big government dictating to every aspect of his shallow life.
In New York City a bearded and tattooed protester who claims he’s’between jobs’ says in the past week he has collected almost two hundred dollars by simply showing up with a blank cardboard sign on a stick and protesting at large gatherings in New York and Philadelphia….”It’s easy money! The drugs are free and they even fill in the sign and that’s great ’cause I don’t spell for shit when I’m high!”
Debbie Benson, age 52, who says she still can’t believe Hillary didn’t win and break the glass ceiling, says she’s doubling up on visits to her therapist and takes her dog everywhere as a therapy companion. “Loud noises bother me now and my husband says I’ve wet the bed having nightmares about evil Republicans trying to poke me with sharp sticks.”
Ned Jensen, age 38, says his parents asked him to move out of their basement after they found him sticking needles into a Donald Trump action figure on Wednesday morning.
Jensen, who claims to be a Democratic party activist, says he was gobsmacked over the loss. “I even bought 3 bottles of champagne and popped the corks when the polls closed on Tuesday evening thinking Hillary was going to win big and he’d move up the DNC ladder and get a great job in DC…”Now I don’t even have a free place to live.”