by Philbert of Macadamia on 21/11/16 at 8:11 pm
Chappaqua NY – (SatireWorld.com)
Democrat Hillary Clinton lost to Republican Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential election. (Republican’s also maintained their majority control of the US Congress.) Following her tantrum, hissy-fit and meltdown Hillary concluded that another corrupt, lying Clinton must continue the line of corruption that Bill and Hillary are famous for.
The political succession mantle will be picked up by Chelsea Clinton, who already has lied for her mother in political TV commercials about her parent’s happy marriage of 40 years and is a woman who could break the White House glass ceiling in about 30 years. Initially, Chelsea will have to win a Democratic seat in the US House of Representatives! Her high paid, fat, cushy reporter job at NBC leaves her unqualified to occupy a lawn chair in the Hamptons, let alone a seat in Congress.
Hillary has volunteered to teach Chelsea the “political ropes” to enter the 2018 Congressional primary elections in Westchester County NY. A funded offshoot of the Hillary and Bill Foundation called “Clinton University” has been established, by an unnamed Middle-Eastern Arab royal family. (Other student enrollments are presently unknown.) A summary of Chelsea’s available on-line classes via Hillary’s illegal home server (Chelsea can still be a stay at home mommy) and instructors for the next 12 months are as follows:
- Sex and Gender in Politics (Former President Bill Clinton): The ex-president describes his extracurricular experiences in the Oval Office of the White House and previously as governor of Arkansas (Monica and friends).
- Politics and Ignoring the US Constitution (Former President Barack Obama): How to corrupt the US Government in 8 years, lying to the American public, dictatorially ruling by ignoring US laws and writing unlawful executive orders, and using the Executive Branch agencies to unconstitutionally go around Congress.
- Understanding the IRS to Avoid Paying Income Taxes (Reverend Al Sharpton): Reverend Al presents tips on how to avoid paying $5 million in back taxes to the IRS for years while playing the “Race Card” (also threatening to expose Islamophobic, Xenophobic and Misogynic behavior to the press) and living high on the hog off his National Action Network’s funding!
- Racial Politics, Coercion and Shakedowns (Reverend Jesse Jackson): Reverend Jesse will enumerate how playing the “Race Card” can be used to blackmail NASCAR and other US corporations to fund his Rainbow Coalition and other of his bogus organizations.
- Corrupt Foundations, Foreign Donors, Demonizing Your Opponents as Deplorables and Achieving Successful Pathological Lying Strategies (Hillary Clinton): Selected readings from Saul Alinsky, an American community organizer and writer, 1971 book “Rules for Radicals.” He is generally considered to be the founder of modern community organizing (Sic Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton’s mentor). Hillary Clinton will also talk about her own “pay to play time” as US Senator from New York and as Obama’s Secretary of State (SOS).
- Politics and Ignoring the Virginia State Constitution (Democratic Governor Terry McAuliffe): How to corrupt the Virginia state Government in 4 years and ruling by ignoring laws and writing unlawful executive orders allowing ex-felons to vote. Thus, trying to tilt the 2016 Virginia presidential vote to Hillary by using state agencies to achieve Democratic political advantage.
- Other Out of Touch Democratic Political Guest Lecturers: Former senile Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) on Senate ethics and corruption; House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) on passing legislation before reading it; Senator Bernie Sanders (I-VT) about establishing a democratic socialist state with other people’s income tax money; and Senator Elizabeth (Faux-Pocahontas) Warren (D-MA) on the government’s building your business, while you were working 12-14 hours a day.
- Campaign Financing, Fund Raising and the Economy (Bernie Madoff): A political outsider familiar with Wall Street firms, the NYSE and the raising of large sums of cash has been retained to acquaint prospective Democratic members of Congress about fund raising. Mr. Madoff may also be able to shed some light on paying down the $20 trillion national debt to improve the US financial standing in the world economy. Since Bernie is on a long federally paid vacation his associate Mr. Ponzi will present the lectures.
Chelsea’s final exam will be to spend 6 months prior to campaigning for the 2018 NY primary elections as an intern with any available NY state liberal Democratic member of Congress. Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) has also been suggested as a tutor, so Chelsea can learn about the 400 year old US Constitution and the difference between WikiLeaks and Wikipedia! Chelsea may then decide to become a Republican!