by Philbert of Macadamia on 03/12/16 at 5:41 am
Baltimore MD – (SatireWorld.com)
The newly elected Democratic Baltimore Mayor and the City Council are considering a resolution banning Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) for natural gas extraction within the city limits. The aim of the new law is to improve the climate, decrease global warming and to improve the health of the city’s residents.
Critics of the proposed resolution point out that the number one health problem affecting residents in Baltimore City is lead poisoning caused by small projectiles emanating from illegally obtained firearms. This malady is believed to have originated in Democratic controlled Chicago IL and is spreading to Atlanta GA, New York NY, Los Angeles CA and other Democratic controlled American cities. The city of Baltimore has had a Democratic mayor for most of the 20th and 21st Century.)
Critics of a Fracking ban in Baltimore City also point to the fact that the nearest location where Fracking could occur is a small section of the Marcellus shale area in far Western Maryland close to the Pennsylvania border. (Maryland has had a moratorium on Fracking for the last four years, pending environmental studies.) Additionally, a ban on shooting, looting, arson, prostitution, fornication, garbage pollution and mooching on the taxpayers of the rest of the state of Maryland would be a better alternative.
Breaking News: The US Geological Survey (USGS) has discovered a large methane gas deposit under Baltimore City, caused by 200 years of accumulated pig poop, cow chips, horse manure, processed human waste, refuse and later deposits of Democratic political bull cookies! A USGS spokesman said “there is at least 100 years worth of natural gas beneath Baltimore City!”