Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed

by on 14/12/16 at 6:07 pm

He's just not the same guy anymore with only weeks left of being marginally relevant.

He’s just not the same guy anymore with only weeks left of being marginally relevant.

Washington DC- (

While Crooked Hillary Clinton was Secretary of State (SOS) and also illegally involved in the Bill and Hillary Foundation money laundering scheme she was approached by Jonas Crappy. Mr. Crappy had an idea for a completely automatic, robotic commode, but needed funding. Hillary sent an urgent email, via her illegal home server, to President Obama to set up an interview with Mr. Crappy at the White House.

In the Oval Office Jonas explained to President Obama that his completely automatic, robotic commode was environmentally friendly (no greenhouse gasses), green by saving water and paper, completely hands free. A short video of the prototype toilet impressed Obama, as all one had to do is sit and read Golf Digest as jets of air/water spray took care of business. Furthermore, private sector manufacturing and plumbing installation jobs would be created on his watch!

Jonas desired taxpayer funding of $300 million to build a commode production plant, also indicating that there were 225 million home and office toilets in the USA that could be replaced with his device. Each new unit would sell for $600, generating $200 billion (plus tax) over several years. Additionally more public facilities (100 million toilets) would allow slightly more than one commode per person in the USA, making Obama the toilet king. Then there’s the potential for a third world market!

Obama agreed to loan Jonas the money (interest free), but would not issue an immediate Executive Order, via ObamaCare, mandating the installation and retrofit of new commodes for all the water closet facilities in the USA. He would wait until the initial manufacturing plant was up and running.

Six months later Jonas was back in the Oval Office to report to the president about progress. Obama asked how many units were sold to the public. Jonas sheepishly said one and he was declaring bankruptcy! One Obama repeated looking like a deer caught at night in automobile headlights. A $300 million dollar commode, I make the Air Force look like cheapskates, with their $600 toilet seat! Who bought the damned thing? You did sir, or I should say the GSA did for the Oval Office, while you were vacationing in Hawaii playing golf.

Obama asked Jonas what had happened to destroy all the rosy manufacturing and sales predictions. Jonas explained that Mr. FM Fox at Acme Manufacturing Inc had produced the same type of smart commode as Jonas for only $300 per unit. The real selling point of Mr. Fox’s units was the two free artificial intelligent, genetically engineered, anatomically correct, robotic beings (male and/or female) that provide any other needed services. Acme manufacturing can’t meet the current demand and are building new manufacturing plants to increase supply!

Obama learned once again that it is not POTUS and the US government’s place to fool with the USA free market, by sticking their noses into S**T where it doesn’t belong!

One Response to “Crappy Crony Capitalism Exposed”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Dec 16th, 2016

    President Obama 12/16/16: “I think there is no doubt that when any foreign government (Russia) tries to impact the integrity of our elections, that we need to take action (red line) and we will, at a time and place of our own choosing ( I only have 35 days left),” he told NPR in an interview.

    Presidential Press Secretary Josh Earnest clarified red line as possibly a white lie, oops a black line, oops a green line, oops a blue line, oops rainbow colored line, but most likely an invisible line !

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