Transgender Conversion Machine Patented

by on 10/10/17 at 8:30 pm

The TCM is powered by three D-cell batteries and has a blue vinyl cover.

The TCM is powered by three D-cell batteries and has a blue vinyl cover.

Well, the TCM can't do everything!

Well, the TCM can’t do everything!

Washington DC – (

US Patent Number 93409353 was issued to Dr. Virginia Phallus for a Transgender Conversion Machine (TCM). Dr. Phallus has a Medical degree (specializing in Reproductive Systems) from Johns Hopkins University and both Electronics and Mechanical Engineering degrees from George Washington University.

Dr. Phallus has been doing research for the last five years related to ending confusion: over “gender identity” (male, female), the creation of gender related pronouns and fights over available bathroom/locker room facility allocations. People who identify as Transgender, only constitute 0.04% of the US population. The TCM is a technological breakthrough in reestablishing Mrs. Ms. and Mr. usage in the USA.

The TCM is slightly bigger than an old-fashioned telephone booth (think Superman). Its components consist of an MRI, Laser Surgical Suite, a 3D Printer and a Control Computer. All functions are software controlled.

A Transgender Male or Transgender Female dressed in a hospital gown (virtually naked) enters the booth, which has been programmed for the appropriate change procedure (adults only) in real time. The TCM automatically does the rest after the start button is depressed. A prototype TCM has been undergoing software “Beta Testing” at a local area hospital. There is no future intent to install production TCM’s at Walmart’s!

The TCM prototype hardware is functioning very reliably and precisely in handling delicate human body parts, but software errors (bugs) have been occurring! The primary gender change routine appears to be functioning, but in some instances the original human biological configuration remains intact. In those cases, the subjects have all the anatomical parts of both a male and a female human being. These people have been designated MFz, which defeats one of the purposes of the TCM, e.g. gender identity!

The bugs in the TCM software should be worked out in a few weeks, but human test subjects have become very scarce and a return to employing Transgender Lab Rats may be in order. All aspects of the TCM testing have been provided to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) for review and comment.

Apparently, the old-adage that good “Transgender software” programmers are hard to find is still valid!

2 Responses to “Transgender Conversion Machine Patented”

  1. O'Leg Pee

    Oct 11th, 2017

    What happens if a mastiff accidentally enters with its owner?

  2. Bargis

    Oct 11th, 2017

    Voila! A Harvey Weinstein that wags its tail before groping you!

Leave a Reply