FDA Approves Newly Developed Medication for Politicians

by on 22/01/18 at 7:31 am

NY assemblyman Neil Hapsfelt took one bite and had to have a Porta-Potty nearby when he gave a speech.

Democratic NY assemblyman Neil Hapsfelt took one bite of a sandwich with Shuthole sprinkled on top and in 20 minutes had to have a Porta-Potty nearby when he gave a speech to the Kiwanis Club in Buffalo.

Washington DC – (satireworld.com)

The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has given conditional approval to a newly developed medication called “SHUTHOLE” to help politicians cure their Foot in Mouth Disease, Diarrhea of the Mouth, Fake News Generation and Habitual Lying. The FDA also has called for follow up field testing using control groups of Democratic politicians, as one of the side effects of the drug is acute constipation.

Three professors at the University of Maryland (UMD), one teaching Chemical Engineering, the second teaching Pharmacology, and the third teaching Political Science, spent their free time in the college’s chemistry laboratories developing “SHUTHOLE!” The professors observed the Democratic Obama administration (2009-2017), and dysfunctional Democratic Congressional leadership, deciding a curative pill was sorely needed.

Democratic President Barack Obama’s administration key personnel and Democratic Congressional leader’s behaviors were then computer modelled to develop “SHUTHOLE” (Footnote 1). Testing was performed on laboratory rats and graduate students. Several boxes of “SHUTHOLE” were also provided as a courtesy to the cited Democratic politicians. No feedback was received from their offices.

Cyanoacrylate (Super Glue) has been removed from the “SHUTHOLE” formula, alleviating the constipation problems, verified by additional laboratory rats and graduate student testing.

The Republican Trump administration has asked the FDA to formally initiate “SHUTHOLE” testing of all the previously cited Democratic politicians plus additional Democratic politicians involved in shutting down the Federal Government (Footnote 2). Dependent on the resolution of “Schumer’s Shutdown” and drug test results, “SHUTHOLE” will be prescribed for all Democratic members of the US House and Senate!

Notes:

  1. Democratic President Barack Obama, VP Joe Biden, Secretary of State (SOS-1) Hillary Clinton (D-NY), SOS-2 John Kerry (D-MA), Attorney General (AG-1) Eric Holder, AG-2 Loretta Lynch, Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), and Senator Harry Reid (D-NV).
  2. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA), Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX), Rep. Al Green (D-CA), Rep. Brad Sherman (D-CA), Rep Hank Johnson (D-GA), Rep. Frederica Wilson (D-FL), DNC Chair Tom Perez, Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN), Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL). And Pamela Harris (D-CA).


2 Responses to “FDA Approves Newly Developed Medication for Politicians”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Jan 22nd, 2018

    Congressional Democrats (House and Senate), It is better to keep your mouths closed and let people think you are fools than to open them and remove all doubt!

  2. O’Leg Pee

    Jan 22nd, 2018

    Chinese Year of the (Blue) Dog just around the corner. Woof, wooof.

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