Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras

by on 08/05/18 at 11:43 am

Protesters show their approval as the Hilary Clinton campaign train  pulled in the Fort Worth station in August 2016.

(Archive) Activists show their approval as the Hillary Clinton campaign train pulled in the Fort Worth station in August 2016.

Rahn Emanuel claims his office has found hundreds of discarded pairs of underwear outside his Chicago office in full view of the security cameras.

Rahn Emanuel claims his office has found hundreds of discarded pairs of underwear outside his Chicago office in full view of the security cameras.

The Chicago mayor's office usually has the medical examiner take away any discarded underwear with signs of heavy usage or skid marks.

The Chicago mayor’s office usually has the medical examiner take away any discarded underwear with signs of heavy usage or skid marks.

New York NY – (satireworld.com)

Various transportation policing agencies use CCTV and “Facial Recognition SW” technology to monitor people’s faces at New York City (NYC) airports, railroad/commuter terminals and bus stations. The cameras supporting a facial recognition capability are located near ticket counters, boarding and luggage pick up areas, and schedule boards at transportation centers.

NYPD has reported that criminals e.g. wanted felons, terrorists and illegal immigrants, have been apprehended using this smart camera technology. However, some criminals have resorted to a rash of “mooning” the CCTV cameras!

Countermeasures have been instituted to catch this minority of “smart asses” by using “Butt Recognition SW” and stored data bases. This new technology’s databases yield twice as much data; tattoos (MOTHER, OBAMA, BLM, KKK), bullet holes, knife wound scars, moles and embedded splinters for matching. A potential problem area has been identified with tinted or colored butts (the tinted butt problem is currently being worked at UC Berkeley).

Baltimore MD, Los Angeles CA, Detroit MI and Chicago IL transportation agencies are greatly interested in this new “Butt Recognition SW” surveillance technology and to share NYC’s databases. Finger printing convicted felons could be augmented by “Butt Printing” them via a computer connected XEROX Machine directly interfaced to a database!

Chicago O’Hare International Airport is considering developing a test program that matches an individual’s face (or butt) to their driver’s license photo and possibly to a “Butt Print.” The Chicago City Council has petitioned the Office of the Illinois Secretary of State to place “Butt Prints” on the reverse side of everyone’s state driver’s license.

The ACLU called “Butt Recognition SW” a cheeky way to catch criminals!



One Response to “Police Report an Increase in “Mooned” CCTV Cameras”

  1. Bargis

    May 8th, 2018

    Moon Over My Miami?

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