Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump Should Be Impeached Because “He Likes Big Titties”

by on 02/09/18 at 8:26 am

As proof of her 'womanly endowment, back in 2010 Nancy Pelosi sent the future President a photo of herself being measured for a 32DD bra back in 1956 when she was auditioning for Playboy while in college. Included in the letter was her personal toll-free campaign donation hot line number.

As proof of her ‘womanly endowment, back in 2010 Nancy Pelosi sent the future President a photo of herself being measured for a 32DD bra back in 1956 when she was auditioning for Playboy while in college.
Included in the letter was her personal toll-free campaign donation hot line number.

Pelosi didn't get the Playboy shoot, but did model in a public service ad in 1958.

Pelosi didn’t get the Playboy shoot, but did model in a public service ad in 1958.

As far as Pelosi and her tits, most normal guys agree that the President has his hands full in Washington these days.

As far as Pelosi and her tits, most normal guys agree that the President has his hands full in Washington these days.

Washington, DC – (satireworld.com)

Democratic Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi of  the Fruitcake, California district, who is constantly looking everywhere to attempt to make President Donald Trump look bad, has now decided that he should be impeached because “he likes large breasted women.”

Pelosi, not known to be “stacked” herself, says that Trump’s preference for large breasted women is “discriminatory against all breastically challenged and average women, and we all know that we do not need a president who discriminates against women in any way.”

Pelosi has demanded that Trump apologize to women in general (of all breast sizes and shapes) because he has sexually favored only one type of women.  “I am insulted that our President has never oogled me or many of my other friends who don’t have what he would describe as big knockers!”

This reporter learned that the state of California will use tax money to pay for sex change operations for people who feel that they were born in a body of the wrong gender, but will not use tax money to pay for breast enlargement surgery for women who feel that they were born in a body with too small breasts.

When asked about his supposed preference for bodacious ta-tas, the President responded by saying “I remember what my father taught me when he said that anything more than a handful or a mouthful was just excess, but damn it’s hard to motorboat a flat chested women.  Besides, I consider myself to be above politics when it comes to breasts as I do respect the whole alphabet in bra sizes.  I would happily take matters in hand to resolve this problem, except maybe with Nancy… as we all know that she is one of those women who is colder than a witch’s tit.”

Trump displayed his wide stance on this issue by showing his support for National Breast Appreciation Day (the Federal Holiday that takes place on the third Saturday in September).  “I plan to be at the local swimming pools in the Washington area to compliment all of the women (18 and over, of course) on their goodies. regardless of size or sag.  I might even bring some Mardi Gras beads to give to any woman who wants to honor me and my security detail with a flash.”

Conservative radio commentator Buck Ziptie said that “this here is just stupid.  Every red blooded American man, unless he is one of them pinko faggots, likes boobies: big’uns, little’uns, floppy tits, huge nipples, puffy nipples, whatever.  Nancy is just mad at Trump because he don’t want to check out what she ain’t got!  She’s also gotta have a new complaint every week just to keep herself in the news.”

MSNBC pundit and pseudo-journalist Chris Matthews also found this accusation to be somewhat silly.  “Hey,” said Matthews, “even I get a tingle up my leg when I see an attractive woman with a huge rack.  I’d say that Nancy was grasping at straws on this one, …but we all know that straws are illegal in California!”



3 Responses to “Nancy Pelosi Claims Trump Should Be Impeached Because “He Likes Big Titties””

  1. Bargis

    Nov 1st, 2018

    Pelosi a great source of joke material

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Nov 2nd, 2018

    Barack Obama could fall in a barrel of bodacious ta-tas and come up sucking his thumb!

    • Jalapenoman

      Nov 3rd, 2018

      …and if he fell in with Chris Matthews, the “reporter” would come out sucking Obama’s penis.

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