Pedophile Jared Fogle Becomes Singer/Songwriter in Prison

by on 07/09/18 at 9:17 am

Though still retaining his weight, Jared did say he was getting more than his share of foot-longs' since  he's been incarcerated.

Though still retaining his weight, Jared did say he was getting more than his share of ‘foot-longs’ by fellow inmates since he’s been incarcerated.

Safford, AZ- (satireworld.com)

The Federal Bureau of Prisons has released information that Jared Fogle, former Subway spokesman, has written and recorded several songs while serving in prison.  Fogle is currently incarcerated in Safford, Arizona and is serving a sentence for having child pornography and for engaging in illicit sexual contact with underage women.

Fogle first became famous for losing over 200 pounds while eating a diet of Subway sandwiches.  He became a spokesman for the sandwich restaurant from 1999 to 2015.  His relationship for the company ended at his admittance to the accusations of sexual misconduct.

While in prison, Jared has apparently found that he has “gotten the blues” and is writing and singing songs about his troubles and woes.  He is attempting to record an album, with the proceeds going to support his ex-wife and children and his victims.

Songs on the album will include:

  1. Can I Walk You Home From Middle School?
  2. That T-Ball Uniform Looks Cute on You
  3. I Like to Eat the Girl Scout’s Cookies
  4. Will You Go to Prom With Me?
  5. I Like Shopping With Girls in Walmart
  6. Wanna Ride in My Van?
  7. Can I Take Your Pictures In Your Jammies?
  8. Let’s Take A Bath Together (and Play With My Rubber Duckie)
  9. Can I Be Your Creepy Uncle?
  10. Sitting at the Kid’s Table at Thanksgiving Dinner
  11. I’ve Seen London, I’ve Seen France, But I Prefer Your Underpants
  12. Let’s Do Your Homework Together
  13. Have I Got a Footlong For You!
  14. The Teacher Caught Me With My Pants Down
  15. Wanna Play Doctor?

One song, “I Like Shopping With Girls in Walmart,” has lyrics that read:

“We can go shopping together

At the store and get out of the weather.

We can start by strolling through the toys

And we can make fun of those dumb boys.

 

I’ll buy you a pink bicycle to ride

When we eventually do go outside

Or a new dolly that you can love and feed

Whenever you have the need.

 

We’ll look through the clothing part where

I’ll buy you a training bra there

And panties that are trimmed with cute lace

That I’ll let you wear at my place.

 

We can go next and buy us some candy

Watching you eat it is just dandy

I think you’d really like an all-day sucker

So tart it would make your lips pucker.

 

The rest of the lyrics are even more disturbing and will not be shared in this article.

Federal regulations do not allow persons incarcerated for a felony to make money from their crimes while behind bars.  Prison officials, however, have revealed that Fogle’s music has somehow made it outside of facility and are being downloaded by other pedophiles on the internet.



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