Michael Jordan Announces Another Comeback

by on 09/09/18 at 9:23 am

At age 55, Jordan admits he's 'added a few pounds,' but insists he's ready for action on the court....."No NIke for me! I plan on some Dr.Sholls and a real good sneaker to help me with rebounds.

At age 55, Jordan admits he’s ‘added a few pounds,’ but insists he’s ready for action on the court…..”No Nike for me! I plan on some Dr. Sholls inserts, a real good bouncy sneaker, and plenty of Ben Gay to help me with those rebounds.


Michael “Air” Jordan, who is often called the greatest basketball player of all time, has announced that he will make his 3rd comeback attempt at age 55.  Jordan originally played for the Chicago Bulls from 1984 – 1993, retired to try his hand at baseball, came back to the Bulls from 1995 – 1998, retired, and then came back to play for the Washington Wizards from 2001 to 2003.  In his latest comeback, Jordan will be joining the Superteam Golden State Warriors.

At the same time, the NBA announced that Ben Gay has bought a major financial sponsorship for the league for next season.

Jordan’s head coach will be Steve Kerr, a former teammate who is three years his junior.  When asked if he wanted to lace up his shoes an join Jordan on the court. Kerr smiled and laughed.  When asked is he wanted to sign any of his other Bulls teammates, Kerr smiled and laughed again.

An unnamed source within the Warriors front office revealed that they have received phone calls from Patrick Ewing, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and six other members of the original Dream Team.

LeBron James, when asked for his thoughts on Jordan’s return, said “he an old man.  He don’t like hearing that I is da best ever and want to try to be da main man.  He don’t know that those dudes on the Warriors probably ain’t gonna give him no court time and probably won’t pass him da ball.  I is King James and he is Team Geritol.  He musta watched dat Uncle Drew movie or somethin.”

When informed that Jordan will be making another comeback, former NFL Quarterback Brett Favre said that he is also feeling healthy and ready to make another comeback and wondered in any league teams needed a starter (if their hot shot rookies burned up).  Favre, at 48, is another player that does not know when to retire.

Not to be undone, former NCAA coach Lou Holtz, is exploring a possible return to the sidelines.  Holtz was quoted as saying that “Hey, Bill Snyder may be older than me and his is still going strong at Kansas State.”  Holtz is 81 while Snyder will be 79 in October (and was recently signed to a five year contract extension).

3 Responses to “Michael Jordan Announces Another Comeback”

  1. Bargis

    Sep 9th, 2018

    You know….I almost believe this story!

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 9th, 2018

    Millions and Millions of tubes of Ben Gay!

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