Annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” Guidelines Released

by on 14/09/18 at 8:30 am

In Portland, WA, cleric Abu Mohammed plans to pass out goat milk ice cream cones in a 'good will' gesture.

In Portland, WA, cleric Abu Mohammed plans to pass out goat milk ice cream cones in a ‘good will’ gesture.

Army sniper  teams are on the lookout for any reprisals against paper plane protesters.

Army sniper teams are on the lookout for any reprisals against paper plane protesters.

Religion-of-Peace Mall
Hershey Highway, PA – (satireworld.com)

The rules and guidelines for the annual “Throw a Paper Airplane at a Mosque Day” commemoration of 9/11 will take place on 10/11 this year.  The quiet and peaceful demonstration has quickly spread across the United States in memory of the tragedy of September 11th, when Moslem terrorists hijacked four planes and killed thousands of people (to spread the peaceful message of their religion).

The rules were written by descendants of Miss Manners and are being distributed in all newspapers and magazines across the country.

People across the country are encouraged to keep their demonstrations simple and quiet by following these rules:

  • Do not make any loud noises, carry any banners, or shout any obscenities if involved in this peaceful demonstration.
  • Singing the National Anthem, God Bless the USA, or America the Beautiful should be avoided (as it will offend Colin Kaepernick… even though he is not a follower if Islam).
  • When you arrive at a mosque, approach it quietly, throw your paper airplane/airplanes, and leave.
  • Do not write anything racial on your paper before or after folding your plane (though names of the victims are a reasonable thing to put onto the paper).
  • Do not draw any pictures of Mohammed on your paper airplane.
  • Do not set your airplane on fire or coat it in any flammable substances.
  • Do not put any feces on your airplane as this peaceful demonstration is not being done in conjunction with the annual Moslem/Muslim “Eat a Turd for Mohammed” Day.
  • Do not hang around the area of the mosque as your swift departure will allow others to come in and throw their paper airplane.
  • In addition to not drawing pictures of Mohammed, it is recommended that you not draw pictures of pigs or pork products or by-products.
  • The paper used for the airplane should be clean, plain paper. Sheets removed from pornographic magazines, Victoria’s Secret catalogs, and containing any pictures or wording that would cause offense should be avoided.
  • Persons coming to the demonstration should leave their sheep at home and not bring them dressed in provocative lingerie that would cause any Moslem/Muslim men in the area to lose control.
  • Do not burn Korans or any images of Osama Bin Laden (or any other famous Moslem/Muslim) in effigy.
  • Protest signs using inflammatory words such as “ragheads, sheep humpers, or little shi’ites” should be avoided.
  • Food trucks selling pork products and hot dog carts should avoid parking in the area.
  • People should not call Domino’s and have Canadian Bacon pizzas delivered to either the Mosques or the protestors.
  • Do not bring or carry any weapons (even in open carry states or if you have concealed carry permits) larger than a small pocketknife.
  • Protesters should not wear pork pie hats or any have any messages on their clothing that could be considered offensive to Jane Fonda, Nancy Pelosi, or David Hogg.
  • Remember that white shoes should not be worn as this demonstration is after Labor Day (yes, the Miss Manners people insisted that this rule was necessary for truly civilized behavior).

Persons protesting should be prepared to offend the sensibilities of liberal democrats and other crybabies.  They may be referred to on the evening news as “deplorables.”

 



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