Anthony Weiner Announces Penis Enhancement Surgery Successful

by on 26/09/18 at 8:11 am

Anthony Weiner first tried to pin the blame on Horshsack, a look-a-like actor from 1970's TV sitcom 'Welcome Back Kotter'

Anthony Weiner first tried to pin the blame on Horshsack, a look-a-like actor from 1970’s TV sitcom ‘Welcome Back Kotter’

Pundits have agreed that a Weiner-Holder ticket would be perfect for the Democrats ion 2020

Pundits have agreed that a Weiner-Holder ticket would be perfect for the Democrats in 2020. Almost every poll supports Weiner ever since the surgery in which Weiner could now be a bigger dick than Holder!

New York City, NY – (

Democratic Politician Anthony Weiner, former member of the House of Representatives and mayoral candidate from New York City, has announced that his penis enhancement surgery was “more than successful!”  Weiner, who is currently in prison for child pornography charges due to a year long sexting scandal with a 15 year old girl, had the elective plastic surgery paid for by taxpayers.

“I know that people in prison get free dental care and that those in California state prisons can get sex change operations and boob jobs, so just decided to give it a try.  I figured that making my penis larger would affect my self esteem and stop the depression I am feeling behind bars.  When I told that to the prison shrinks, they pushed through the surgery.”

When asked why he felt the need to have his male organ enlarged, Weiner said that “I think some of the girls were dissatisfied because of my size and that is why they reported me to the police and the media.  With a new and improved “Carlos Danger” [Weiner’s term for his… wiener], there is no room for complaint by anybody!  I’m just worried about being able to fit the whole package on a selfie to send to the girls and my future voters.”

Huma Abedin Weiner, the ex-wife of Anthony, smiled when told of the surgery.  Her divorce from her husband took three years because “I just couldn’t live without him.  As good as Hillary is as a lover, I just have to have Weiner’s wiener… and now it is even bigger and better!”

Anthony Weiner admitted that “I would have a little more length and girth if I was not circumcised, but I am Jewish and don’t have my foreskin and that is our way.”  He also admitted to singing the Chuck Berry song “My Ding a Ling” to his penis when alone and said that “I just can’t help myself, I have to look at it and touch it all of the time.”

Surgeons revealed that Weiner’s teeny weeny wienie was increased in size through the surgery by 25%…. from two inches to two and a half inches, making him now larger than the average Democratic House member.  [Note: Nancy Pelosi still has the biggest balls in the House of Representatives.]

The extra flesh needed for the addition was taken from Anthony’s nose, meaning that in his bext prison conjugal visit, he will be putting his nose in some woman’s business (and might smell something fishy).

3 Responses to “Anthony Weiner Announces Penis Enhancement Surgery Successful”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Sep 26th, 2018

    Since Democrat Anthony Wiener is probably barred from going back into politics, the New York State Correctional System has gotten him employment (when he gets out of prison) at:

    Werner’s Wunderbar Wiener and Wurst Works (home of the foot long wiener) located in Wurtsboro NY. Mr. Werner is a Republican!.

  2. Jalapenoman

    Sep 26th, 2018

    I thought only teenage girls were permitted to be the Weiner holder!

  3. Jalapenoman

    Sep 28th, 2018

    Weiner Holder…. the best campaign team since George BUSH and DICK Cheney!

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