Fans Mourn Death of Scooby-Doo at Funeral

by on 26/09/18 at 8:24 am

Mourning friends of Scooby line up to use the only tree at the cemetery in Hollywood.

Mourning friends of Scooby line up to use the only tree left at the cemetery in Hollywood.

According to his manager/trainer, Lester Fine, Scooby did have a drinking problem towards the end of his career due to long hours  at the studio and a persistent anal cyst.

According to his manager/trainer, Lester Fine, Scooby did have a drinking problem towards the end of his career due to long hours at the studio and a persistent anal cyst.

Clifford the Big Red Dog brought gal-pal Penny-the-magical-Pug who amused mourners by crapping out  pink cupcakes.

Clifford the Big Red Dog brought gal-pal Penny-the-magical-Pug who amused mourners by crapping out pink cupcakes.

Hollywood, CA – (satireworld.com)

Forty year old Great Dane Scooby-Doo (exact date of birth unknown as he wasn’t registered) was laid to rest yesterday at a funeral at the Hollywood Park Cemetery; He was too big to be buried in a cardboard box in the backyard.  His grave is between the fire hydrant at the south exit and the nearest pine tree (so that relatives might have multiple places to hike their legs when visiting),   He is survived by countless mixed breed puppies and dogs all over California and the world.

Scooby, who lived more than twice as long as the average Great Dane, was found dead in his Beverly Hills home of multiple gunshot wounds.  He was allegedly shot by rapper Skunky-Beast-MoFo, estranged husband of one of the interchangeable Kartrashian sisters.  MoFo was heard saying when being arrested “that bitch be cheating on me again!  I know she like her men brown and doin’ it doggy style, but with a real dawg?”

Nephew Scrappy-Doo was arrested attempting to get revenge on the accused killer.  He kept yelling “let me a’em” and screaming that he had “puppy power.”

Pallbearers at the funeral service were Clifford (the big red dog), Pluto, Goofy, McGruff (who took a break from taking a bite out of crime to attend), Marmaduke, Beethoven, Muttley, and Augie Doggie.  Droopy offered the invocation.  The eulogy was delivered by Astro and the sermon was given by Huckleberry Hound.  Rufus T. Dog, who played a younger version of the deceased in “A Pup Named Scooby-Doo,” gave the benedicition.

Most of the members of Mystery, Inc. were in attendance (Velma could not be there due to attending a Gay-Lesbian Alliance conference in New York City).  Shaggy was seen sobbing uncontrollably and wondering who he was going to share his Scooby Snacks with.

Fred, when asked why he was wearing a normal necktie instead of his standard ascot, said the “I always wore the ascot to cover all of the hickeys and bite marks on my neck and chest from Daphne as she was a sex fiend and an uncontrollable woman in bed.”  Daphne, who was making out with the driver of the hearse in the back of that vehicle, could not come up for air long enough for comment.

The Mystery Machine was part of the funeral procession.  Fred said that “you won’t see that same smoke coming from the van anymore.  Some people thought that it was a bad engine and others thought that it was Shaggy lighting up another joint, but it was really from Scooby-Doo’s uncontrollable flatulence.

In commenting on the late Great Dane’s sex life, ex-wife Lassie said that “he was so filthy stinking rich, he would pay other dogs to lick him.  Scoob also never saw a leg he wouldn’t hump.  I wish they’d have had him fixed years ago!”  It should be noted that Lassie was wearing the cone of shame after another recent face lift.

Groundskeeper Old Man Fergus did try to steal Scooby’s jeweled collar from his casket, but he was caught by the surviving members of Mystery, Inc. (and he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those darned kids).

As most people were leaving the graveside service, Shaggy was heard to lament to his late friend “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?”

 



One Response to “Fans Mourn Death of Scooby-Doo at Funeral”

  1. Jalapenoman

    Sep 28th, 2018

    Mystery Inc,. solving more mysteries and finding the truth more often than Democrat lynch mobs at a Supreme Court Confirmation Hearing!

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