Gay Pride Marchers Beat Two Men To Death For Not Standing For Rainbow Flag

by on 02/10/18 at 11:28 am

Marchers  screamed and yelled insults at people that they thought were 'straight.'

Marchers screamed and yelled insults at people that they thought were ‘straight.’

Denver, CO – (satireworld.com)

A gay pride march turned violent in Colorado yesterday when two men were beaten to death for not standing when the rainbow flag was carried past them.  Travis Johnson (black heterosexual) and Jack Swanson (white heterosexual) were sitting outside their business (Johnson and Swanson Barber Shop) eating their lunch in Denver when a gay pride parade past.  The men, who were talking and eating, did not stand up when the rainbow flag was carried past them.

Militant lesbians noticed that the men did not rise out of respect and begin shouting at the two men.  They politely tried to ignore the verbal abuse and went back into their shop.  The women then came in, threw chairs through windows, broke mirrors, took the barbers’ scissors and slashed the seat cushions, and than beat, kicked, and stabbed both men to death (at least sixty times each).  The women then returned to the parade and held up signs demanding tolerance and respect and equal rights for all humans.  It should be noted that the American flag was not present anywhere in the parade.

At this time, no charges have been filed against the women as law enforcement officials believe that this may fall under laws regarding “justifiable homicide” and self defense.  Republican lawmakers and most voters and citizens with a conscience, however, believe that the “women” should be charged.

Swanson’s wife of thirty-five years, Marcie Swanson, was horrified by the reaction.  “Politicians keep telling us that we can kneel or sit or burn or show blatant disrespect for the American Flag and that it is okay and socially acceptable, but when my husband and his business partner and best friend since their army days sit there and eat their sandwiches and don’t stand for some gay pride symbol, they get beaten to death?  Where is the logic and reasoning behind that?  Which wars were fought and won under that rainbow flag?  Which flag is a symbol of our rights and liberties and freedoms and which is a symbol of perversions?”

Alice Johnson, daughter of Travis Johnson, agreed.  “Where are all the activists right now?  Where are the people standing up for the rights of our fathers?  Where is Colin Kaepernick?  Where is Hillary Clinton or Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton or Oprah Winfrey or Rosie O’Donnell?  Where is CNBC and MSNBC and CNN?  My Dad and Mr. Swanson served together in the Army and defended this country, and they are treated like this by a bunch of shaved headed dykes and this is the thanks they get?”

Colorado State Police arrested Ms. Johnson for hate speech after referring to the freedom fighting lesbians as “shaved headed dykes.”

Bertha Wideload, one of the “women” accused of the vandalism and murder, was quick to respond.  “Oh yeah, we but up that scum.  Those two disrespected us and our movement and our outreach for tolerance and peace and equal and fair treatment.  They wouldn’t stand for us, so we couldn’t stand to be around them.  People who don’t like us have no place in this world, unless they are Moslems/Muslims who would stone us, and then it is politically incorrect to speak bad of them or their religion.”

When asked out the incident and if it related to the protests against the American Flag, Colin Kaepernick said that “this is completely different.  The United States is an oppressive nation against everyone that is a racial or social minority and does not deserve any respect from anyone.  The gay pride marchers, however, have earned our respect because they are victims of oppression.”

Kaepernick was then asked by a reporter when he planned to leave the United States and move to a less oppressive country, but the question was ignored.  That reporter was taken out and beaten (non-oppressively, of course) by the former NFL quarterback’s personal security detail.

Democrat and House Member Beto O’Rourke, who is not Hispanic but calls himself Beto to get that vote, is currently running for the Senate against Republican Ted Cruz in Texas.  Congressman O’Rourke famously said that he could think of “nothing more American” than refusing to stand for the American flag.  When asked if he equally felt that there was nothing more American than ignoring a Gay Pride Flag, O’Rourke was of a different opinion and found it to be highly disrespectful to a politically correct group of people.

“Disrespectful,” said Mrs. Swanson!  “These bull dykes had shaved heads and were covered with tattoos and were wearing their butch leather pants and tank tops and steel toed motorcycle boots and looking like a bunch of low life Hell’s Angels and demanding that they be treated with respect.  Their was of being treated with respect was to beat to death two men who were doing nothing more than eating their lunch outside on a nice day.  They probably didn’t know that they were supposed to stand up for some stupid piece of rainbow cloth on a pole because it isn’t any flag any decent American ever served under!”

“My husband won a purple heart by giving his blood for the Stars and Stripes.  Apparently, that wasn’t good enough for these dykes as they made him and Travis give all of their blood for this flag of perversion.”

Mrs. Swanson was then arrested by the Colorado State Police for hate speech for her entire statement describing the women who allegedly beat and stabbed her husband and his business partner to an alleged death after allegedly destroying their barber shop.

From the White House, a horrified President Donald Trump shook his head.  “It’s funny, I took an oath to defend this country against all enemies, foreign and domestic… and I am having a lot more problems with the domestic ones!  Why is it that an entire political party must pander to the wants and needs of a perverted and disrespectful few?  Why has that political party become the enemy of goodness and decency?  Why do I have to defend this nation against the Democrats?”

“Why is it politically correct to burn Old Glory or refuse to stand for the Stars and Stripes, but incorrect to burn a Koran or not stand for a gay pride flag.  What have those perverts got to be proud of anyway?  I intend to issue a Presidential Order for the FBI to arrest these women if their leftist and limp wristed state is unwilling to do so.”

Upon hearing this statement from the President, the California Trio of Terror (Pelosi, Waters, and Feinstein) called for the impeachment of the President for Hate Speech.

 

 



3 Responses to “Gay Pride Marchers Beat Two Men To Death For Not Standing For Rainbow Flag”

  1. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 2nd, 2018

    Bravo Jman!

    The sum of all the spectrual rainbow colors=White. Therefore, LGBTQ must all be white racists! Same perverse logic the Obama/SchumerDemocraps use!

    • Jalapenoman

      Oct 2nd, 2018

      Thank you. I was trying to show the hypocrisy of the leftists.

  2. Philbert of Macadamia

    Oct 2nd, 2018

    Support all our troops and veterans!

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