Alyssa Milano Admits She Was Trying to Increase Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame

by on 05/10/18 at 8:48 am

According to Hollywood's elite, bared tits equal intellectual capacity ...Or something like that.

According to Hollywood’s elite, bared tits equal intellectual capacity …Or something like that.

...if size is a measurement of intellect meet Republican Lara Cummings a  cerified genius!

…if size is a measurement of intellect meet Republican Lara Cummings a certified genius!

Hollywood, CA – (

Actress Alyssa Milano, who has not been really relevant since starring in Charmed and Who’s the Boss, tried to reinvent her fifteen minutes of fame last week by appearing nearly topless at the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings.  Milano, who stated that she was there to support the female accuser (who was also seeking her fifteen minutes of fame) later admitted to just wanting to be back in the spotlight again.

She first came to public attention as a child actress in movies such as Commando and television shows such as Who’s the Boss.  This evolved into eight years of work from her teenage years into her early twenties on Charmed.  Alyssa then became most famous for her lawsuits to keep pictures of her naked breasts off of the internet, though she had willingly appeared topless in some movies.

The has-been has become most famous recently for showing up at national and international events to try to grab the spotlight and resurrect her career.  At these events, along with the Kavanaugh hearings, she is generally scantily dressed with her assets falling out.  Other place she has shown up include:

  • The last College of Cardinals when the Catholic Church leaders met in conclave to elect a new Pope:  “We were all in dresses,” admitted Cardinal Inveski of Poland.  “The one in the dress with the big titties falling out, however, made us all pause for a minute and see that something was wrong.”
  • The NFL Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony:  “When they were presenting me,” said Kurt Warner, “I looked down at my wife and kids and noticed someone who just didn’t belong.”
  • At Barack Obama’s second Inauguration:  “When my Barack go to put his hand on da Bible an’ shit,” said Michelle, “Dat judge, she look kinda young an’ skanky.”
  • During the coin toss at a recent Super Bowl:  Tom Brady said that “I didn’t remember that there was supposed to be a female official for our game, but here was this woman who wasn’t wearing the traditional zebra stripes, but was in leopard print.”
  • At the presentation of the Nobel Prizes:  Dr.  Inga Swenson-Lutfish was quoted as saying that “when I went to present the prize for Economics, there was this tart in front of me who probably couldn’t spell economics… much less math.”

When asked where she planned to appear next, it was noted that Milano was no longer behind the podium at her own press conference.  Instead, she was seated between reporters from Reuters and the Associated Press and feverishly raising her hand for the opportunity to ask the next question.

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