Woman Reveals She Was With Kavanaugh the Night Christine Blasey Ford Testified About

by on 12/10/18 at 10:58 am

CDC doctors gave Kavanaugh an OK as results for Leaky Crank disease came back negative.

CDC doctors gave Kavanaugh an OK as results for Leaky Crank disease came back negative.

Rottencrotch,  now age 87, says  Kavanaugh mostly skipped the foreplay....."eager little Devil he was!"

Rottencrotch, now age 87, says Kavanaugh mostly skipped the foreplay…..”eager little Devil he was!”

Dubsdread, OH – (satireworld.com)

An Ohio woman has revealed that, “according to the records in my journal,” she was actually having sex with Brett Kavanaugh on the night Christine Blasey Ford claims he tried to rape her.  Mary Jane Rottencrotch said that “I wrote everything down, I have pictures, and I can tell you where Brett has a birthmark… and Christine can’t do any of those!”

Democrats were quick to deny the claims as “she doesn’t have real proof” (though she does and Blasey Ford didn’t).  “I don’t even get a benefit of the doubt?  They believed everything she said with no evidence, but won’t even listen to me!”

One moderate Democrat did ask if the sex with Kavanaugh was consensual.  Rottencrotch answered by saying that “hell, yes, it was!  I had sex with everybody!  I was that easy girl in high school with the bad reputation that your mama warned you about.  I took the virginity of just about every boy in school and slept with most of the teachers too.  I also slept with a lot of the girls and can tell you stories about Christine in bed.”

Senator Dianne Feinstein (one of California’s Trio of Terror) is seeking a gag order against Mary Jane Rottencrotch to keep her from speaking the truths of what happened that night.  “We’ve already made up our minds about what Kavanaugh did and this woman coming forward with the facts just doesn’t fit into our agenda.  The character assassination has already been done and nobody telling us what really happened is going to change that.”

When interviewed, Kavanaugh said that he didn’t want to bring up his old classmate Mary Jane’s name as he didn’t want to ruin her reputation.  “What,” said Rottencrotch.  “I already have a reputation and everyone knew that I was the school whore.  It’s nice of him to say that, but it now makes me look better to say that I popped the man cherry of a Supreme Court Justice!”



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