Classic Chuck Norris Film “Good Guys Wear Black” to have Politically Correct Remake

by on 12/10/18 at 11:06 am

Zachary Quinta takes on Chuck Norris' character in an action remake of a Hollywood taco burner  flick.

Zachary Quinta takes on Chuck Norris’ character in an action remake of ‘Good Guys Wear Black’…Now a Hollywood taco burner flick.

Hollywood, CA – (

1978’s Chuck Norris action film “Good Guys Wear Black” will have a politically correct remake scheduled for release in two years as a holiday film.  The new movie, titled “Good Guys Wear Black Fishnet Stockings,” is scheduled to being filming next summer in San Francisco, California.

The remake, to be directed by Quentin Tarantino, has changed the name of the characters, the locations, and much of the plot… but it will conform to modern standards of political correctness.

Said Tarantino, “in the original, Chuck Norris played John T. Booker, a Vietnam Veteran.  In this film we are trying to stay away from war and the concept of enemy nations.  Zachary Quinto will play Bruce Q. Velvet, a community organizer.  In the original, someone was trying to kill all of the men from Booker’s unit, but in our movie, Velvet will be trying to stop the outing of several gay men and cross dressers in the local political arena of San Francisco.”

“We had considered changing the title to “Good Guys Pack Fudge” or “Good Guys Wear High Heels,” but decided that the original title must be used.  We just added “Fishnet Stockings” to the end of the title.  We are anticipating at least one sequel and will probably call that “Good Guys Still Wear Black Fishnet Stockings.”

Upon hearing the announcement of the remake, Chuck Norris kicked over a telephone pole, punched a hole through an armored car, and spit a watermelon seed through the wall of a bank.  Norris was then heard to ask “where the hell is the Pussy Tarantino and the fag that ruined Spock in those lame Star Trek remakes?  Fake Scotty better beam up their asses!  I’m doing more than ass kicking here!  Ralph Kramden used to say to the moon, Alice… well, I’m kicking them to Pluto so that they can freeze what’s left of their nuts off.”

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